TR: These are the good years for Barb and me. I mowed the lawn yesterday, for the first time this season. And I was really enjoying that. The sun on my face. And I forgot to look down and I stepped in a big fresh pile of dog stuff. But I got the job done. And then today I came home from the store and found Barb on the couch, drinking a beer and listening to iPod.
SS (SINGS): Lonesome....so lonesome...like to die...
TR: Barb, what are you doing?
SS: Listening to country music.
TR: You're not tuned to public radio?
SS: Nope.
TR: And is that beer?
SS: I decided to open myself up to new experiences. A malt experience. Expand my horizons.
TR: Barb. The only thing you're going to expand is your butt.
SS: Where is the tolerance, Jim? Where is the open-minded man that I married?
TR: Barb. I don't got for self-pity and bitter resentment and that's what that music is about.
SS: Now Jim, that is the most bigoted thing I've heard you say in a while.
TR: It's the truth, Barb.
SS: I've got one thing to say to you, Jim--
(SINGS)
I'm leaving you.
You don't want me to
Be the person who
I am-- So I
Am saying goodbye--
TR: I don't think you're getting enough ketchup, Barb. Ketchup contains natural mellowing agents that help you accept that you are who you are. And you are not a singer. Have some ketchup. I think you'll feel better in no time.
(THEME)
RD:
Winter is gone now
Awaken from your slumber
The temperature is rising
Up to warmer numbers
Life is flowing
Like ketchup on cucumbers
GK: Ketchup, for the good times.
RD: ketchup, ketchup.