Many people, Europeans particularly, don't get Texas, a state that is bigger than most countries, why is it there? What purpose does it serve? (LONG PAUSE) (THEN DISTANT BUGLE, AND DISTANT DOGS)
GK: Because man needs a sense of grandeur. (TR & FN: Grandeur! Grandeur! IN FADING SERIES) You don't get a sense of grandeur (TR & FN FADING SERIES: Grandeur!) from sitting in a cubicle pecking at a computer or in a meeting (DRONE OF VOICES) listening to idiots talk about transparency and the flow structure. You get it from getting on a horse (SFX) and picking up a rifle and heading for the woods with your dog.
TR: C'mon, Blue. Let's go gettim. C'mon. (GUNSHOT, DOG WOOFS, HORSE GALLOPS)
GK: A man gets tired of caution and regimentation. Down deep, men are not herdsmen. (SHEEP) We are not robots. (REPETITIVE MECHANICAL SEQ. CLANK, HISS, THWOP, CHUNK) ---- we awaken in the morning and we hear the pipes (BAGPIPE), the pipes calling, and we go forth to the hunt---- down deep, Southerners have a lot of Scot in them.
TR (SCOTS): Aye me brave boys--- into the forest to poach the King's deer and poke the King's men in the snoot and when the King comes by, we'll turn our backs and drop our kilts and blow him a kiss---- (MALE CRIES OF RESOLVE, FARTS)
GK: Face it. Liberals tend to be authoritarian.
FN (LADY): You will NOT make jokes about people who are unlike you and you will NOT say mean things about those who are mentally challenged and you will NOT write crude things in the margins of books. No no no no no.
GK: Grandeur! It's the alternative to therapy. Therapy is for liberals.
TR: Well, my dad wasn't really there for me --- he was kind of emotionally distant, not a really good role model, and that's why I'm so wishy-washy. I think. But how would I know?
GK: That's a man in therapy: pitiful, whiny, vague. Here's a Texas daddy.
TR: (JOHN WAYNE) Let me tell you something, men. When you were boys, your Mama read you stories about animals with big brown eyes and beautiful eyelashes, and today we're going to kill one and bring him home on the hood of our car. Anybody have a problem with that? No? Good. Let's go.
GK: Men need grandeur. To get away from women and their questions.
MH: How come you're so quiet?
FN: Just thinking.
MH: Thinking about what?
FN: Stuff.
MH: What stuff?
FN: Different stuff.
MH: Tell me.
FN: It's nothing.
MH: How can you think about nothing?
FN: I do it all the time.
GK: So you go out in the woods. With a pickup truck (SFX) and some dogs (SFX) and a case of beer (POP TOP) and you drink the beer and you put the bottles on fence posts and you shoot em (SFX) and you come home. And you smell of gunpowder and beer and dog hair and she is happy to see you.
HM: I was worried about you. I was afraid you'd get shot or something. You didn't take your cellphone with you.
GK: No.
HM: Did you miss me?
GK: Yep.
HM: I'm so thankful you're okay. I was worried.
GK: I'm fine.
HM: Did you miss me?
GK: Sure.
HM: You did?
GK: Sure.
HM: You missed me?
GK: Yeah.
HM: I love it when you say that.
GK: Sure.
HM: Say it again.
GK: Okay. Sure. (MUSIC) Grandeur. That's what men need. Bravery!! (WHINNY, HORSE HOOVES) Nobility!!! (BAGPIPES)
GK: Adventure!!! (SHIP'S HORN)
TR: Grandeur!!! (BUGLE)
GK: Texas!!!! ((HORSES WHINNY)
TR: Let's go! Away! (HOOVES, WHOOPS AND GIDDYUPS)
(MUSIC)