My cat she pleaded and my cat she cried
For me to open the door and let her go outside
Then she sat on the lawn underneath a tree
Pretending that she couldn't hear me.
Cat, you better come on home
I said, Cat, you better come on home
There's dogs in the dark waiting to attack
And cat-hawks looking for a late night snack
So Cat, O Cat, you better come on home.
Cat she turned and she tossed her head
"I may or may not come," she said
"I'm a cat who is deeply dissatisfied
I'll let you know when I decide.
Cat, you better come on home
I said, Cat, you better come on home
I'll close this door and lock the bolt
And you'll spend the night in the snow and cold
So Cat, O Cat, you better come on home.
"I'd rather be a cat who meets a terrible fate
Than live with a man who don't appreciate
That a cat is independent and a true high brow
And demands a little high-class chow
I've seen the food that you feed your guests
The turkey and the tuna and the chicken breasts
And do you share it with your cat? No you don't, no way!
Not the poached perch liver pate."
Cat, you better come on home
I said, Cat, you better come on home
I'm not about to stand here and argue with a cat
Now what would the next door neighbor think of that?
So Cat, O Cat, you better come on home.
"Well I never!" she said and arose in a huff
"You've seen the last of your old puff."
She left with a "humph!" and a sardonic laugh
And she left for a year and a half
I felt so bad, full of guilt and shame
I walked around town just calling her name
With a great big plate of Chateaubriand
And some tuna fish in my hand.
Cat, I wish you'd come on home
Cat, I wish you'd come on home
Come on, old Puff, and come home with us
I got a lot of fringe benefits I'd like to discuss
Cat, O Cat, I wish you'd come on home.
I saw her six months later in a cat magazine
The number-one T.V. cat food queen
With a fat contract with a cat food firm
And her hair done up in a perm
I could tell it was Puff though this cat was wrapped
In a white mink coat and her teeth were capped
And she was lying on a beach in the south of Greece
And she'd changed her name to Clarice!
Cat, you'd better come on home
Cat, you'd better come on home
You're a top cat now and you're riding high
But they'll dump you in the river when the well runs dry
Cat, O Cat, you'd better come on home.
Sure enough she came back one day last fall
She was on her last legs, she could barely crawl
With her head and her tail dragging on the ground
For she weighed about sixty-nine pounds
She looked like something the cat dragged in
With her tongue hanging out on her double chin
And great big bags underneath her eyes
And she said "It's me, surprise!"
Cat, I'm glad you came on home
Cat, I'm glad you came on home
No need to explain, my old cat friend
I'm just glad to have you back again
Cat, O Cat, I'm glad you came on home
I picked her up like a big fur sack
She said "Easy jack, I got a salmon on my back.
I got a big salmon habit and that's no lie
I gotta go cold turkey on the tuna fish pie."
If other cats could only know
To hang their hats on the status quo
For the very first thing that a cat can do
Is to make all its dreams come true
Cat, you'd better come on home
Cat, you'd better come on home
If you seek your fortune, nevertheless,
Remember your name and your address
Cat, O Cat, you'd better come on home.
Oh, you can seek your fortune, nevertheless,
Remember your name and your address
Cat, O Cat, you'd better come on home.