GK: ....brought to you by P.O.E.M., the professional organization of English majors.
(THREE RINGS, THEN PICK UP)
SS: (ROBOTIC SOUNDING VOICE) Hello. You have reached the Fraud protection hotline. Please state your last name first, and the last four digits of your Visa card.
GK: Great, another robot.
SS: I am a real person. I just talk like this.
GK: The name is Wyler. The last four digits are 3489. I got a fraud alert on that card and I want to check.
SS: Of course. Can you confirm recurring purchases of latte at Java Hut of 2.79 each time?
GK: Yes.
SS: And do you eat regularly at Bonnie's Cafe, the scramble special with bacon and hash browns?
GK: I do.
SS: Really?
GK: Excuse me?
SS: Never mind. You bought a book on weight loss this month.
GK: I did.
SS: And other books. Poetry. Essays. You bought the Iliad.
GK: I did.
SS: You already have the Iliad.
GK: You know that?
SS: Why the new Iliad?
GK: I like this translation better.
SS: So do I.
GK: So you have books too?
SS: "A room without books is a room without a soul."
GK: Right
SS: So----- on February 26th, a transaction at Al's Wines & Liquors for $8.79.
GK: Yes.
SS: And what was that for?
GK: You need to know what it was for?
SS: Yes, I do.
GK: Why?
SS: Mr. Wyler, I am trying to be of service.
GK: It was for a bottle of Pinot Noir.
SS: Eight dollars and seventy-nine cents?
GK: It was marked down.
SS: And how would you describe the wine?
GK: It was smoky and mystifying with splashes of marigolds and dark chocolate and dew and moonlight and a young woman with a long braid halfway down her back.
SS: That was me.
GK: You?
SS: Me.
One more thing.
GK: What?
SS: This purchase for $457.00 at Earl's Tattoo Palace is fraud. Am I correct?
GK: What? Yes! No, I have no tattoos.
SS: Oh, good. I was hoping. We'll go ahead and put a hold on your account and you know what, I'll personally bring you a new card.
GK: You're an English Major, aren't you?
SS: How did you guess?
GK: Your grammar is impeccable, your word choice elegant.
SS: I'll be there in twenty minutes.
GK: Wonderful. Wait. How will I know you?
SS: You will know.
GK: You're right.
HM : (SINGS)
By the way she can verbalize
And cross her T's and dot the I's
I would wager
She's an English major.