(THEME)
GK: Once there was a farmer whose girlfriend was impressed by how smart and imaginative he was compared to other farmers. (SS: Oh you are so original. You have such wonderful ideas. The rest of them are a bunch of boobs and ninnies.) He had ideas about a book he was going to write and a new breed of chickens he'd raise and then he figured out how to fly and he told his girlfriend that he was going to do it (SS: Oh you are so brave, you are my hero) and he made two big wooden wings with feathers glued to them and he climbed up the windmill and strapped the wings to his arms and he jumped and----- (FALLING MAN, FLAPPING, CRASH. CHICKEN FRENZY) ---- landed on the chicken coop. (SS: Oh, are you all right, my darling? Oh, how brave you are. Come and I will bathe your wounds and bandage them.) He decided that the problem was the uneven spacing of the feathers, and so he redid them and the next day he climbed back up the windmill (SS: Be careful, love!!!) and he jumped off again (FALLING MAN, FLAPPING, CRASH IN MUD) and he landed in a puddle, which was about ten feet beyond the chicken coop. So there was progress. (SS: Are you all right, my darling? Here, let me wipe that mud off you. Take off your clothes and I will wash them.) He wondered if maybe he should use feathers from a bigger bird. (TURKEY GOBBLE) So he got out an axe and he (GOBBLE, WHACK) killed the turkey and glued its feathers to the wings and he climbed the windmill again and strapped on the wings and he was about to jump when he felt a sudden loss of faith. (SS: What's wrong, honey?) He stood up there, thinking that the same dang thing was going to happen to him and that this time he might break his neck. (SS: Aren't you going to fly, honey?) GK: ...And then he heard a motor (SFX) and looked up and saw a contraption with cloth wings flying over him, piloted by a man in a brown leather helmet and a white scarf around his neck. So somebody else had figured out the problem and he took off his wings and climbed down just in time to see the man with the white scarf land his plane in a nearby pasture (SFX) and the girlfriend ran out to see him (SS: Oh wow. You know how to fly!!! Wow! Can you take me up in your machine??) And the man helped her into the second seat and away they went (SFX), which was painful in a way and in another way, a big relief. He gave up the idea of flying and he went to work breeding chickens and eventually he bred one with four legs, four drumsticks, and a breast as big as a football, and no wings. (CHICKEN CLUCK) And it could lay a dozen eggs a day. (POP POP POP POP) It was the chicken the world had been waiting for. It made him very wealthy and he bought a fast car (SFX) and he moved to town and he bought a big house (ECHOEY FOOTSTEPS, TR SALESMAN: This is the solarium, sir, and this way is the arboretum and over there is the spa and the media room.) and he met a very classy woman (SS SINGS BREATHY: Quand il me prend dans ses bras
Il me parle tout bas,
Je vois la vie en rose.)
THE MORAL OF THE STORY: IF YOU HAVE A DREAM, GIVE IT UP. THE NEXT ONE IS BETTER)