GK: Celebrating July the 4th, the day on which Thomas Jefferson said that we're all equal and have God-given rights to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, and government is supposed protect those rights and if it doesn't then we have the right to change it --- he posted it on his Facebook page and Adams and Franklin and Hancock and Patrick Henry liked it, and they emailed it to London and the Big Dog said, No way. And they said, Way. And he already had troops there and he sent even more because after all it was his ---- his name was on stuff, Georgetown, Kingston, York ---- the Duke of York was his relative ---- Boston is a town in Lincolnshire, Lord Baltimore was from Yorkshire------
Princeton. Norfolk. Worcester. Trenton. Springfield. ----- those people were English, what is going on here? Independence? In your dreams. You owe us. Big time.
The King was upset ----- (TR BRIT SPUTTER: Awfully Cheeky.). Queen Charlotte was perplexed. (SS BRIT SPUTTER: I am really cheesed. What a kick in the knickers.) The Crown Prince George IV was outraged. (FN TEEN BRIT SPUTTER: I am gob smacked. Bloody p.o.'ed). And the war began (CANNONS) (HORSES) and it was a near thing. If it hadn't been for the French (TR FRENCH HEROIC) and good luck and George Washington, we wouldn't be American today. We wouldn't be us. We'd be them. (TR BRIT: Cheerio. SS BRIT: Smashing. Brilliant. FN BRIT: Well done, old chap!)
GK: There would be fox-hunting. (HUNTING HORN, DOGS BAYING) And cricket. (FN: Good go, mate. SS: Sticky wicket, I say.) And bad beer (SS: Want me to warm up that beer for you.) And we'd all have to talk like that.
(TR BRIT: And now a look at the latest news from the BBC. In Minnesota colony today, a crowd of several thousand gathered on the great lawn of Macalester College for no apparent reason and then peacefully dispersed. Authorities said that it happens every year on this date and they have no clue whatsoever.) The Fourth of July, people. GOD BLESS AMERICA