SFX PHONE RINGS 3X PICK UP
GK: Hello.
SS (ON PHONE): Hello Duane it's me, your mother. Remember?
GK: Hi Mom.
SS: Hi, honey, I just called to see how you are. How are you?
GK: Fine, Mom.
SS: Good. Your allergies aren't bothering you?
GK: No, I'm fine.
SS: You got your flu shot?
GK: I did.
SS: Good. Glad to hear it. Listen, honey, about tomorrow--- I don't want you to go to any trouble. No big deal. We'll just have a nice little dinner and ---- just seeing you is all I want. Okay?
GK: Tomorrow----
SS: Yes. Tomorrow.
GK: Is Sunday.
SS: Yes.
GK: So tomorrow is---what? Oh That. Right.
SS: Yes, Duane. "That." Mother's Day. M-o-t-h-e-r. So if you could stop on the way and pick up a quart of vanilla ice cream, that would be great. I am baking a rhubarb pie. Your favorite.
GK: Uh huh.
SS: Can you do that for me, honey? A quart of vanilla ice cream? I'll pay you back when you get here.
GK: Actually, I'm in Nashville, Mom. I came down on Thursday. I'm visiting some friends here. Hello? Mom? You there?
SS: You're in Nashville. Oh. Well----- okay. Good to get that out of the way. Thanks for letting me down easy.
GK: I'm sorry. It just slipped my mind.
SS: That's okay. Back when I was 8 months and three weeks pregnant with you, Duane, I was hoping that childbirth would just slip my mind too and -----
GK: I'm really sorry.
SS: -----and that I'd just wake up and there you'd be, but ---- well, you know. Instead, twenty-seven hours of torture.
GK: Mom, I'm sorry.
SS: Not a problem, not a problem, not a problem. I was reading a book about parenting, Duane, and it made me feel good about you.
GK: Oh?
SS: I read about children who attacked their parents with pitchforks and sicked dogs on them and drove them into the woods and then burned the house down. You never did that.
GK: Mom-----
SS: You never poisoned our food. Not that I was aware of.
GK: Mom-----
SS: Anyway, you are a grown man and you are not obligated to come visit me on Mother's day. Just because you tore me like a sheet of wrapping paper when I gave birth to you, and just because my bladder bounces every time I cough- that doesn't mean you should feel obligated.
GK: Mom----
SS: I wanted you to give you a drug-free, natural childbirth, honey, so I turned down the epidural but there was nothing natural about it, Duane, any more than going to the guillotine is natural. (BREAKS) But it was worth it because, you were the light... at the end of the tunnel. (SOBS)
GK: Mom? Mom? Mom?
SS: I'll let you talk to your Father, Duane. The man who sat in the waiting room and watched quiz shows. He's out in the garden. Hold on. (YELLS) Hank come get the phone. It's your son. Well hurry up, it's long distance. He's in Nashville. (PAUSE, THEN PHONE HANDLING)
TR: Hello.
GK: Hi Dad.
TR: Hi. So. How's Nashville?
GK: It's warm, very pretty.
TR: Oh. Okay.
GK: How is it there?
TR: It's okay. Better than winter but, you know.
GK: Yeah. So what're you up to today?
TR: I'm outside. I'd be in the house but she's kind of on the edge.
GK: Yes. Are you planting or mulching or ...
TR: I was thinking about planting some zucchini.
GK: I thought you hated zucchini.
TR: Yeah but it grows really well here.
GK: Uh huh.
TR: And your mother likes it.
GK: Uh huh.
TR: I think she does---- but, I donno.
GK: Okay.
TR: Well. Nice talking to you, son.
GK: You, too dad.
TR: Give you back to your mother here.
TR: Here take it. Take the phone. He's in Nashville.
SS: I know. I told you that. Nobody ever listens to me.
Honey ... you still there?
GK: I'm here, Mom. You feeling better?
SS: Yes. And listen---Honey, there is no need to call me on Mother's Day, just think kindly of me, and blow me a kiss and I'll catch it, Duane. I just know I will. And whoever your friend in Nashville is, I hope to get to meet her someday, and maybe I shouldn't say this, but I hope she becomes a mother too, if you know what I mean, because I think it's every woman's dream, because no matter how our children treat us, it's all about love, honey ---- it's not about receiving, it's all about giving. (SINGS) All you need is love, love. Love is all you need.
GK: Ok, Mom. Call you tomorrow.
SS: Only if you want to, Duane. No pressure.
Bye Honey. Bye now. Love you, Duane, Bye now.
GK: Love you too, Mom. Bye.