(MUSIC) (BLIZZARD, WOLF HOWL)
GK: January in Minnesota, cold, snow, and we're good with that. This is our home. Of course when you're elderly and chronically ill, you may need to go to a sanitarium down south, but while you're young and have your health, this is the place. And it's a fact that winter draws families closer together.
TR (OLD FATHER): Come, my children - sit down here by the fire as I sing you a traditional song called "I've Been Working On The Sidewalk".
SS: (OLD WOMAN): And then we'll sit down to a beloved ethnic meal of macaroni and cheese Whiz.
TR (OLD FATHER): Speaking of whizzing, someone wrote a gloomy economic forecast in a snowbank last night. It says that everything could get suddenly much worse at any minute.
SS (OLD): Lucky for us we're Minnesotans and bad news is right up our alley.
GK: We're realists here. Stoics. Winter is what it is. We are who we are. It could be worse. People who go south tend to be susceptible to delusional thinking and it can be embarrassing when they return in the spring.
FN: Oh, West Palm Beach was absolutely amazing! We found this adorable condo a couple blocks from a canal. Palm trees, pool, everything.
TR (MINNESOTA): Carl, you useta be from here. What happened to ya?
SS (MINNESOTA): What happened to your jowls, Carl? And your hair?
FN: I had some work done, okay? So shoot me. You don't have to be all saggy and wrinkly just because you're retired. Amber thinks I look fabulous.
SS (MINNESOTA): Amber! What happened to Myrtle?
FN: Oh, that's a long story. Too complicated.
TR (MINNESOTA): Your skin is dark orange, Carl. That isn't your hair. Those are plastic lips. Somebody moved your eyebrows.
GK: That's why we stay here for the winter. And if you know someone who's suffering from delusions, maybe a week or two in Minnesota can help. Call Sensible Travel for more information. Hotel, airfare and therapist, all included in one price.
SS: I am Evelyn Lundberg and I'm going to be working with you this week. Let me say from the get-go that the poems you sent me are a piece of crap, so we'll just put those aside. And your ambition to have a dance show on streaming video ---- hello??? Just look at yourself. No, you are a mailman, okay? You are not a dancer. You trudge. You don't dance.
FN: But----
SS: Don't waste my time. Okay?
GK: Sensible Travel. A week in Minnesota. Come back to earth.