GK: January is when we Minnesotans love to come to California. There is nobody on the tennis courts, empty tables at all the outdoor cafes, nobody on the beach. For us it's warm. Fifties is fine, sixties is super. We go to resorts up in Napa Valley and it's mostly Minnesotans and Canadians there, No need to make reservations at the restaurant. They love us in Napa because we would never dream of asking for a discount at a resort just because it's 90% empty. We would feel that's taking advantage. We are not bargainers. And we're not complainers. The last time someone in Minnesota tasted a glass of wine and sent it back was in 2008. It just never happens. In California it happens all the time.
FN: (TASTING WINE) (THEN VIOLENT SPITTING) Oh my gosh. You call that Cabernet???? I call that kerosene. (SPITTING) That is obscene. That is criminal. Give me my phone. I'm calling the police.
TR (FRENCH SPUTTERING, TRYING TO MOLLIFY)
GK: And the result is that the restaurant is wary of ever disappointing anyone. Wary of getting a negative review on a website.
JC: The service was abominable, the wait was interminable, the food was inedible, and the wine was undrinkable. We set fire to our table and escaped in the uproar without paying. We will never return. Never.
GK: Minnesotans would never complain about food because it might make people think that we thought we're important. Our mothers brought us up to be satisfied with your portion and if you can't say something good, then don't say anything.
SS: The wine, I thought, was sour, but I'm no expert. The food came to the table sort of lukewarm, but maybe it's supposed to be. The waiter was rude and he slapped my husband hard across the face, but maybe Larry had it coming, I don't know. The bill was kind of high, but I guess there was some sort of extra charge. I am sorry if we caused a problem.
GK: So we come out to California for excellent food, the land where chefs have been whipped into shape by irate customers over the years.
FN: You call this creme brulee??? (SPITS) I call this wallpaper paste. You should be ashamed to put this in front of people and charge money for it. Shame! Shame! (SIX SLAPS, TR FRENCH CRINGE)
GK: So people back home resent us for leaving during the blizzard and the minus 35 wind chill, and here is a song about resentment.
FOLSOM