(STORYTIME THEME)
TR: And that music tells us it's Storytime and now here from the Story Corner is Uncle Bud.
GK: My family came to the North Shore in the summer like everybody else in Minnesota. Came to Duluth and saw the Lift Bridge go up (BOAT HORN) and the ore boat go under and drove up to the Split Rock Lighthouse (FOGHORN) and Grand Marais and stayed in a motel with log cabins that had kitchens. It was called Al and Betty Tourist Cabins. Betty was a skinny old lady with a cigarette on her lower lip.
SS (DEEP WHISKEY VOICE): No loud music after ten o'clock. Lights out at 10:30. Make sure you don't clean fish on the picnic tables, that's all I ask. And don't leave garbage outside. It attracts the bears.
GK: Bears were a constant worry. So when we took a hike in the woods, we were careful to ring bells and sing to warn bears away. (DINGING BELLS)
ALL: A SUNBEAM, A SUNBEAM
JESUS WANTS ME FOR A SUNBEAM
A SUNBEAM, A SUNBEAM
I'LL BE A SUNBEAM FOR HIM.
LP (DEEP INHALE): Oh, look at that beautiful beautiful lake? Isn't it spectacular? Can anyone look at that and tell me that there is no God?
GK: There was a God but evidently he was a god who sent bears roaming after people who weren't singing hymns. (BRIDGE) Al and Betty'sTourist Cabins always smelled of Pine-Sol Disinfectant.
TR (DEEP WHISKEY VOICE): We use Pine Sol because it keeps the bears away. (BRIDGE)
GK: Naturally I had bad dreams (BEAR SNARLING) (WHIMPERING) In my dream, I was attacked by bears and I got separated from my parents and I was sent to an orphanage. One run by Al and Betty. (DREAM CHORDS)
TR (DEEP): Welcome to the orphanage---- Have you ever worked in an iron ore mine?
GK: I'm only ten, sir.
TR (DEEP): Ten is old enough to work. You're a big strong boy. You can pick up the chunks of ore that drop off the trains.
SS (DEEP): You can sleep in the coal shed. That's okay, isn't it?
GK: Yes, ma'am.
SS (DEEP): And here's a bucket of slops for your supper.
GK: Thank you. (BRIDGE) Sometimes I had happy dreams about school and my beloved teacher Mrs. Moehlenbrock-----(DREAMS)
FN (LADY): Your map of the North Shore --- it's so well colored, every crayon stroke is perfect.
GK: Thank you. (CHORDS) But more often they were bad dreams.
TR (DEEP): Betty and I are communists, Carson. And we're going to make you a communist too.
GK: No, no-----
SS (DEEP): You have to say there is no God. Say it----
GK: But there is----
SS (DEEP): Say there is no God, Carson. Or else you'll have to eat a bucket of earthworms.
GK: What???
TR (DEEP): Say it. There is no God. (MUSIC)
GK: They were terrible dreams and I woke up exhausted in the morning.
LP: Are you all right, honey?
GK: I didn't sleep well, Mom.
SS: We're going for a hike---- want to come with?
GK: I'm bushed, Mom. (BRIDGE) And that's when I met the bear. He walked right into the cabin.
FN (BEAR, SINGING):
JESUS WANTS ME FOR A BROWN BEAR
TO SNIFF FOR HIM EACH DAY,
IN EVERY WAY TRY TO PLEASE HIM--- OH!
(HE IS STARTLED) ---- You scared me!
GK: I scared you!!!! What are you doing in here?
FN (BEAR): Came in to get some of that Pine-Sol Disinfectant. Love that stuff. (SPLASHES) Put a little under the arms. Hmm hmm hmm. (SPRITZES) Behind my ears. Hmm hmm hmm. Hey--- you got something to eat?
GK: What you want?
FN (BEAR): Garbage. You know. Apple cores. Orange rinds. Soggy toast.
GK: You ever try a peanut butter sandwich?
FN (BEAR): What's that?
GK: So I made him a big thick peanut butter sandwich. Which he liked.
FN (BEAR, MOUTH FULL): Boy, this sure beats eating maggots.
GK: He was a wonderful bear and I taught him a few new words----
FN (BEAR): Loquacious.
GK: It means talkative.
FN (BEAR): Indubitably.
GK: For sure. Without a doubt.
FN (BEAR): You've been so kind to me. Let me give you this----
GK: An old bottle. Where'd you find it?
FN (BEAR): In the garbage.
GK: Well, thanks, I guess. (POOF) Wow. What's this?
TR (EURO): Take a guess.
GK: You're a magic genie??
TR (EURO): Bingo. Make a wish.
GK: Just one wish? I thought I'd get three.
TR (EURO): I'm a Lutheran genie.
GK: Oh. Okay. Well, I wish I could keep coming back to Duluth. (BRIDGE) I said it without thinking and it's turned out to be true. I keep coming back. When life gets weary and dreary and slow, I just think, Well, I'll go back to Duluth, and I do, and it's like a fresh start. Something in the air. Makes you feel young and ambitious again. And it's all thanks to that good bear, and of course one should keep his distance from bears, but it's very important to be kind to animals, (THEME)
TR: And that music tells us that's all the time we have today on Storytime with Uncle Bud.