We went out last year to a cafe near here
I admit it wasn't that great.
I looked at you and somehow I knew
Not to ask for a second date.
But today I heard you're still single
Without a boyfriend in sight
So I'm writing this letter so you'll know me better
And maybe you'll call me some night.
I'm not a poet, I'm no theologian
Don't know about fashion and art.
I think I'm fun but if you need someone
To talk theory with, I'm not that smart.
I'm a man who can grab a dead skunk by the tail
Without bothering to put on a glove
I may not talk about Mozart and Bach
But I know how to fix different stuff.
I'm happy to do the recycling
And carry what needs to be carried
Groceries, an anvil, a boulder, a candle,
And dig a hole where the skunk can be buried.
I will take your old pet to its death at the vet
I can deal with what's sad and what stinks
The dead mice and rats who lie in the traps
The hair in the traps of the sinks.
The steady advance of cockroaches or ants
Or gas leaking out of your stove or
Bats that come flapping at night when you're napping
I'm your man, I'll be right over.
Am I a wonderful lover?
Or am I a creep with bridges to burn
You can't tell a book by its cover
And what I don't know I'd be happy learn.
Got a big hairy spider? Call me. I'll smite her.
Got a snake you want me to hold?
Those potatoes got rotten that you've forgotten
And I'm not allergic to mold.
Your college classmates may know about Yeats
And his motif of Adam in Eden
But I am the mug who can clean up the rug
That your classmate's dog has just peed on.
And at night we'll climb to the top of your tower
And dance and have a romance
I can unzip your zipper, take off your glass slipper
After I wash my hands.