FRED FARRELL
GK: ...brought to you by Fred Farrell Animal Calls.
(MONKEY, JUNGLE BIRDS) When it comes to animal calls, there's just one name, and that's Fred Farrell.
TR: What with the powerful vegan lobby in Washington tying the hands of hunters and prohibiting anyone from even looking cross-eyed at an animal, we have got a major invasion of bears and cougars and elk and giant carnivorous birds moving right into our suburbs so that you don't even dare step outside after dark for fear that some giant condor with a fifteen-foot wingspread could come down and grab one of the kids (FN KID: No! No! CONDOOR CRY. WINGS BEATING) and with the liberals in charge, all you can do is hold hearings and two years later they'll issue a report --- well, if you believe in protecting your family you need to get my Fred Farrell King of the Jungle Warning Call. Mount it on your garage and plug it into an outlet and it makes the sound of a lion (GRUNTING, SNUFFLING) --- the lion is saying, "You come any closer and you're gonna find out where on the food chain you belong." (LION ROAR) And remember Fred Farrell Calls are authentic calls, oftentimes more authentic than animals out
in so-called nature.
And with the purchase of the King of the Jungle Warning Call, you'll receive absolutely free my Fred Farrell Twelve-in-One call....
TR: ...Twelve animals all on one call, including wallaby (SFX), wolfhound (SFX), white Leghorn (CHICKEN), sperm whale (SFX), whippoorwill (SFX), wolf (SFX), woolly mammoth (SFX), wildebeest (SFX), warthog (SFX), wapiti (SFX), Welsh corgi (SFX) and the walrus (SFX).
GK: Isn't that a sea lion?
TR: Nope, it's a walrus. (SFX)
GK: Fred Farrell, the name to trust when it comes to animal calls. (BIRD CRY)