GK: It's October, and November is coming, and you figure you'd better winterize your car, so you take it in to Jack's Auto Repair, All tracks lead to Jack's, and they put it up on the hoist (SFX) and drain the oil (SFX) and change that (SFX) and the coolant (SLOSHING), and they put on snow tires (AIR WRENCH) and replace the battery (SFX) ----- FN: Yeah, I notice that muffler is leaking ----- so they change that (BANGING) and they blow out the gas line (SFX) and clean the defroster (VACUUM), check your tire pressure (HISSSS), replace your headlights (SFX), and balance your tires (SFX), and you buy some flares, tire chains, bags of sand, and you stock your glove compartment with nuts and dried fruit and granola (SFX), and then you're finished! You're ready for winter! You spent a couple thousand bucks, but it's worth it for what you got: peace of mind. So you're thinking good thoughts as you drive home-enjoying the feel of your car-and listening to public radio (FN: This is Sylvia Pojoli reporting from Rome where Pope Francis is spending the day at the Tivoli amusement park and there he goes now on the roller coaster (SFX ROLLER COASTER)) and that's when the squirrel darts out from behind a parked car (SFX), and you swerve to miss it (SFX), and you run your car straight up a curb (SFX) and into that Mercedes parked there (CRASH, ROLLING HUBCAP, STEAM, A BEAT). The car whose owner is sitting in it. (DOOR OPEN) Or was sitting it.
GK: ...Now he's standing at your window. (BIG THUMPS. ELECTRIC WINDOW OPEN). He's 300 pounds and he's wearing a red cornhuskers jersey.
FN: Yes, sir. Lovely day today, sir.
TR (HEAVY): Hey dogface, you just busted my girlfriend's car. Who are you? Where are you from, pinhead?
FN: I am from Minnesota
TR (HEAVY): Minnesota!!! Get out of the car.
GK: Wouldn't this be a good time for a piece of rhubarb pie? Yes nothing gets the taste of shame and humiliation out of your mouth like Beboparebo rhubarb pie and rhubarb pie filling.
(RHUBARB THEME)
But one little thing can revive a guy,
And that is homemade rhubarb pie.
Serve it up, nice and hot.
Maybe things aren't as bad as you thought.
DUET:
Mama's little baby loves rhubarb, rhubarb,
Beebopareebop Rhubarb Pie.
Mama's little baby loves rhubarb, rhubarb,
Beebopareebop Rhubarb Pie.