GK: How is it that some people can sing and other people can't? (TR TENOR) Why is it that that man is popular at parties and this man---- (FN: SINGING, VOICE CRACKING)---- can't sing a note. In school his choir director used to say---- (FN WOMAN: Just move your mouth, honey. No sound. Just move your mouth.) He looks like a singer. He has a good thick head. (KONK KONK KONK) ----- and he has a big chest and a good strong diaphragm (WHUMP. FN: OOF) but let's take a look at his vocal chords. (FN SINGS: MI MI MI MI....FN CHOKING) relax your tongue (FN CHOKING) Relax, say ahh (FN AHHHH) I'm going to lift these tonsils up here where everybody can see them (FN AHHHH) --- nothing unusual about those.....let's stick this flexible rod down his throat with the camera on the tip (FN CHOKING) ----- don't gag----- don't gag----- just relax----- and let's pluck his vocal chords there------ (FN: SINGS CHORD, PING PING PING PLAT-----) well, there's the problem. One vocal chord needs to be tuned. Would you like a local anesthetic or a general sedative? (FN PONDERING) I can give you a shot of novocaine in the throat or I can put you to sleep----- (FN PONDERS, THEN: How about the general sedative?) Very good. I'll just put the needle in your arm. Little pinch there. (POP) Okay, in five, four, three, two, one, and he's out. (FN SLEEPING) What this man doesn't know is that his vocal chords are okay. No tuning necessary. It's a simple problem of self-confidence. If you are asleep, you can sing beautifully. Listen. ----- Sing. Sing. (SLAP) Sing.
FN (SINGS):
Oh Danny boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling. I am asleep, and that's why I sound great.
It's winter now, and I'm in Minnesota
And I am in a semi-conscious state.
But come ye back when Minnesota's warmer
And when the fields are ripe with beans
'Tis I'll be here in sunshine or in shadow
And I'll be singing sweetly in my dreams.