BAND:
Well I went up to A.S.U.
Looking for something great to do
I majored in English and I read Shakespeare
And now I'm ready to begin a career.
(chorus)
In Tucson, working at a drive-in
In Tucson, whaddayaknow
In Tucson, how about fries with that
Please pull up to the second window.
GK: If you're an English major, you graduate with more knowledge and understanding than the world know what to do with.
TR (RECITE): How weary, stale, flat, and unprofitable
Seem to me all the uses of this world!
Things rank and gross in nature
Possess it merely.
GK: This person is not going to be good at retail sales, and so we put him at a microphone speaking to people through a little box under the illuminated menu.
TR: Welcome to Burger Prince, would you like the Hamlet Burger, fries, and soda for $1.78?
GK: And though it seems like menial work, you are making contact with hundreds of people a day, and one day----
SS: Yes, I would like the Hamlet Burger, and sir?
TR: Yeah?
SS: Something in your voice tells me that you are a person whose sensibility we're looking for in the world of women's fashion.
TR: Yeah?
SS: My name is Stephanie Narsiss and I am a designer of women's nighties and underwear. How would you like to get into underwear?
TR: Oh wow.
SS: I can only offer you a hundred grand to start but the benefits are spectacular.
TR: Hey. I'm there. I'm all over it.
BAND: You may have to work in a drive-in
Do day-care or drive a bus,
Eventually your time will come
And you'll become big stars like us.
English majors, where is the money
Go ahead, make a demand
English is a beautiful language
Don't accept less than a hundred grand.