GK: ON OUR SHOW......Fred Newman the world's greatest towel snapper (SFX) ---- FRED will now, as he enters on Zabar the Elephant (ELEPHANT) with the Siberian tiger Rachmaninoff on its back (TIGER) -------the great Fred Newman will now, using only a moist towel, snap the cigarette out of the mouth of the Lovely Louise as she stands barefoot on the back of Wally the Wonder Horse horse as he rides around our ring (HORSE HOOVES, SLOW CANTER)----- light the cigarette, Louise----- (SS CIRCUS CRY) and because Fred is blindfolded, she will sing as she rides so he'll be able to guess where she is (HORSE HOOVES, SS VOCALIZES) ----- (TOWEL SNAP, SS WHOOP) and he did it! (TIGER) Easy, Rachmaninoff! (HORSE CANTERING) And now as the Lovely Louise comes around again, you'll see she is holding a small television set in her hands and watch now as the amazing Fred Newman, using only a moist towel, snaps the knob and changes the channel (HOOVES CANTERING) ----- as you can see, she is watching the Golf Channel (TV AUDIO) as she rides by and now Fred takes aim and (SNAP) ----- (HIP HOP) he changes the channel to American Idol Wow. That is what I call snapping.
GK: And now for one final trick, the Lovely Louise rides around again on Wally the Wonder Horse (HOOVES CANTER) and as you can see she has removed her blouse and is wearing a beautiful black brassiere with a very tricky latch in the back ----- (DRUM ROLL) can he do it? Can you do it, Fred?? (FN LUSTY LAUGH) ----- for obvious reasons we must turn the lights completely out in the Town Hall as Louise rides around the ring (HOOVES) ----- where are you, Louise? (SS VOCALIZING) ---- are you ready, Fred??? FN LUSTY LAUGH.......(SNAP) (SS WHEE)
MR. FRED NEWMAN, THE WORLD'S GREATEST TOWEL SNAPPER. (BAND PLAYOFF)