I've lived a lot longer than you
I've been around the block and learned a thing or two
You can dot your I's and cross your t's
But life is a series of low comedies
There's no simple way to eat spaghetti.
It's fun to play bass but employment isn't steady.
Every life has its perils.
You can't go through Lent singing Christmas carols.
A person has to learn to improvise
You think you know the song and then suddenly surprise
The singer tosses in an extra bar or two or three
So accommodate appropriately
There's no simple way to eat spaghetti.
You'll never have kids if you wait until you're ready.
There's no such thing as a rational life.
If you don't believe me, ask my wife.
If you're a perfectionist, good luck.
But don't get a job in Manhattan driving truck.
You can't eat a taco without spilling on your shirt.
If you fall in love, know that you'll get hurt.
There's no simple way to eat spaghetti.
No sense getting hot and sweaty
There's an 88.9 percent chance
You're going to spill sauce on your pants.
I never should've gone in radio
I wish someone had told me years ago
But by the time I learned I had no aptitude
I'd been doing it for years and
There's no simple way to eat linguini.
You don't get three wishes from a genie.
Every little pleasure includes some regret.
Don't go fishing if you can't get wet.
Life offers lots of bad choices.
Life can be confusing, like James Joyce's
Finnegan's Wake, which, if you've read it,
You know you can't but wish you could edit.
There's no neat way to eat spaghetti
Even Verdi and Donizetti
Tasted failure with shame for a chaser.
Even Mozart needed an eraser.