SS (ANNC): The Lives of the Cowboys.nBrought to you by Spanish Johnny Spandex Chaps, for cowboys who are still growing.nAnd now, The Lives of the Cowboys.n
(COWS)
TR:nGet your face out of that computer, Lefty.nGotta round up the cows.
GK: Evelyn's online, Dusty.nI see her little green dot. I'm just thinking about whether I oughta try to chat with her.n
TR: You better do it fast, before your battery runs out.
GK:nI donno. I don't want to bother her. (COWS) Maybe she's tired of me. Wouldn't blame her. Maybe she's talking to someone else. Don't want to make a fool of myself.
TR:nThen come rustle up the cows and let's eat some beans and hit the hay.
GK:nAmazing to think that she's right there. If I clicked on that green dot, we'd be talking.
TR:nLook, we didn't become cowboys to sit here staring at the computer.nWe did it to experience solitude.
GK:nI think I already knew about that.
TR:nYou only knew about loneliness.nSolitude is something else.nThat's where you start to like being alone. You enjoy your own company.
(COWS, TR SPIT)
GK:nHer light just turned orange, and now it's green again.
TR:nPeople nowadays can't bear to be alone. Always obsessively looking for company, constant reassurance. Email, chat, social networks, talk talk talk.nUs cowboys are the last of the loners.nLeast I am. I am the last American alive who is not looking for validation.n
GK:nWonder who she's talking to.n
(TR SIGH)
TR:nJust start up a video chat.nDon't sit and stare at the screen all day.
GK:nI can't.
TR: Here, I'll do it for you.
GK:nGet your hand away----
TR:nJust click the mouse---- (STRUGGLING) Right over her name.n(CLICK) Yvonne Beebalo Here we go.
(VIDEO CHAT CHIME INVITATION)
GK: What did you do?
TR: Lefty has invited you to chat. Let's see if she picks up.
GK:nHow do I turn this off?n
(CLICK)
SS (EVELYN, ON CHAT):nHello? Lefty is that you?
(A BEAT, TR CHUCKLES, UNDER)
GK:nHi.
SS (EVELYN, ON CHAT):nThanks for getting in touch, Lefty.
GK:nIs this a good time?
SS (EVELYN, ON CHAT):nIt's as good a time as ever.nJust taking a break from grading papers.n
GK: Where are you?
SS (EVELYN, ON CHAT):nI'm at the schoolhouse, Lefty.nWhere are you?
GK: Texas.
SS (EVELYN, ON CHAT): Oh.nOkay.nJust thought you might be coming into town, is all.
TR (UNDER):nSee? There you go.
GK:nShh.n
SS (EVELYN, ON CHAT): What?
GK:nNot for a while, Evelyn.nWe're down here on the trail.
SS (EVELYN, ON CHAT):nOh.nOkay.nWhat's on your mind, Lefty?
TR (UNDER):nAsk her if she's seeing anybody.
SS (EVELYN, ON CHAT): What was that, Lefty?
GK:nNothing.
SS (EVELYN, ON CHAT):nI thought I heard you say something.
GK:nNope.
TR (UNDER):nSeeing anybody.
(GK PUSHES TR AWAY)
SS (EVELYN, ON CHAT):nSomeone else with you?nn
GK: No. Just clearing my throat is all.n
SS (EVELYN, ON CHAT): Oh.nOkay then. Well nice to see you Lefty. You're looking well.
GK:nYou too Evelyn.nYou look lovely. I like your hair that way. Any reason you decided to pin it up like that? Anyone tell you you look nice that way.n
SS (EVELYN, ON CHAT): Just you.
GK:nSo... Life is good?
SS (EVELYN, ON CHAT): It's all right.
GK:nYou spending time with people?
SS (EVELYN, ON CHAT):nHere and there, sure.
GK:nAnybody special?
TR (OFF):nThere you go.
(A BEAT)
SS (EVELYN, ON CHAT): They're all special to me, Lefty.
(COWS)
GK:nHow many are we talking about here?
SS (EVELYN, ON CHAT):nHow many what?
TR (OFF): Uh oh.
GK:nNothing. So nobody more special than any of the others?
SS (EVELYN, ON CHAT):nYou mean am I seeing anybody?
GK:nIf that's what you want to talk about, sure--
SS (EVELYN, ON CHAT):nIs that what you're asking?
GK:nYou can tell me if you want.n
SS (EVELYN, ON CHAT):nTell you what?
GK:nWhat you want to tell me.
SS (EVELYN, ON CHAT):nWhat are you asking, Lefty?
GK:nWhatever you want to talk about.
SS (EVELYN, ON CHAT):nDidn't you call me?
GK:nIt's okay. I can go.
(A BEAT, COWS)
SS (EVELYN, ON CHAT): I don't understand you Lefty. You leave for months at a time and then you call me so you can avoid asking me if I'm seeing someone?n Is that what this is?
GK:nIt's okay.nNever mind.
SS (EVELYN, ON CHAT):nIs that a campfire behind you?
GK:nYes it is.
SS (EVELYN, ON CHAT): Looks romantic.
GK:nI guess it could be, under certain circumstances. (GUITAR STRUMS)
SS (EVELYN, ON CHAT):nWow. You've got your guitar, huh?
GK:nYep.
SS (EVELYN, ON CHAT): Sing me a song.
GK: You sure?
SS (EVELYN ON CHAT): Of course I'm sure.
GK: Okay, but if you change your mind, just say so.
(GUITAR INTRO, MOONLIGHT ON COLORADO)
GK (SINGS):
Life at times has been a lonely struggle
Down a dusty trail against the sky
But you're the woman I have always dreamed of
Hoping I will see you by and by.
Moonlight and I'm sitting by a campfire
Out here on the prairie feeling blue
Listening to the owl and coyote choir
Wishing I were back up north with you.
L'amour for moi is my jes nes sais quoinnnnnnnn
And you are the prettiest girl I ever saw.
Moonlight on a lonely night in Texas
How I wish that I were there with you.
SS (EVELYN, ON CHAT):nYou're breaking up, Lefty. What was that last line, Lefty?
GK:nIt was "How I wish that I were there with you"...
SS (EVELYN, ON CHAT): I can't hear you.nLefty? Are you there? Lefty?
(HORSES APPROACH)
TR: Uh oh.nLooks like you lost your connection there.
TK: Hey. One of you guys just Twitter me?
TR:nNo, sir.
TK: Somebody Twittered and said the cows have all scattered.
TR:nSorry, we don't do Twitter.
TK: How d'ya expect to keep track of 10,000 cattle without Twitter? C'mon, let's mount up. (BEEPS) Whoa. Let me see what this is. Smoky's texting me.n
GK:nWhat'd he say?
TK: Says the herd is a mile south of here and heading for the arroyo.
TR:nBetter ride.
TK:nAnd he says, Thanks for the email you sent, it really made me feel better about myself. Let's go! (GIDDYUPS, HORSES WHINNY, HOOVES GALLOPING)
(THEME)