GK: So you're having a good day -- you wake up in the midst of a dream in which you've shot a grizzly bear in the eye (GUNSHOT) and saved the life of a small child (THANK YOU THANK YOU, MISTER MAN). And you wake up, and shower (SFX) and have your granola and yoghurt (SFX) and you make a cup of espresso with the machine you got for Christmas (SFX) and then you remember (WHOA) you've got to get your hair cut -- you're going to the Boy Scout fundraiser tonight --so you race to your hair salon, and Bob who cuts your hair is gone. His chair is empty.
SS (MONO): Bob's gone. He went berserk and had to retire. My name is Shakti. I can do your hair. Or J.D. will be free in a little while.
GK: Her hair is cut sort of lopsided, long bangs in front, shaved in back, and it was streaked with pink the color of cotton candy.
TK: Uh-- let me check my voice mail, make sure I have time.
SS: Okay. Let me know if you want me to.
TK: Okay, I will. I just have to check my calendar too.
SS: Fine.
GK: You don't want her to cut your hair. You want someone like Bob."? Bob was a real normal hair cutter.
TR (MINN, SNIPPING): Yeah, they say it's supposed to get cold again. That's what they say. Good to be able to get out on the ice and fish again, huh? Yeah. I go ice fishing with my brother in law. Got a nice fish house up on Mille Lacs. Stove, bunks, the whole shootin match. Yeah. -- Yessir. -- Quite the deal.
GK: But you sit there, not wanting to upset anybody, not wanting anybody to get mad at you. And J.D. comes in.
TR (STONER): Hey dude. Awesome. Totally. Hop in the chair, I'll get a cloth.
GK: So you sit in the chair.
TR (STONER): Okay. What we got going on here?
TK: Not too much off the top, just trim the sides.
TR: Man-- your hair. I mean, this is great. Just totally awesome. I love your hair. What we're going to do is like do some shape-changing, okay? (BIG SCISSOR CUTS) sort of like reduce the outline and lighten it up in back (BIG SWOOSHES WITH SHAVER) and I'm going to put on some coloring -- (SPRAYING) green and red and white and blue and --
GK: You fall asleep in the chair and you dream that a grizzly comes after you and chases you up a tree (BEAR) and rips your pants off (RIP) --and then you wake up. (TK IN SHOCK)
TR (STONER): Wow. It's like a work of art or something. What do you think? Like it?
(HEARTBEAT)
GK: You look like you went through brain surgery in a tornado. And now you remember -- you're supposed to speak to the Boy Scout fundraiser, a speech on personal responsibility. Wouldn't this be a good time for a piece of rhubarb pie--
(SINGS):
One little thing can revive a guy,
And that is home-made rhubarb pie.
Serve it up, nice and hot.
Maybe things aren't as bad as you thought.
ALL:
Mama's little baby loves rhubarb, rhubarb,
Beebopareebop Rhubarb Pie.
Mama's little baby loves rhubarb, rhubarb,
Beebopareebop Rhubarb Pie.