GK: .....all of our Minnesota cast and crew flew to New York by way of Lutheran Air, where flying is an uplifting experience.
SS: Okay then, I am your flight attendant Britta -----
SS: Okay then. Listen up, I'm only gonna say this once. In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, or a water landing, or whatever, we are going to be saying prayers like you wouldn't believe it, Lord's Prayer, rosary, serenity prayer, they're all in your seat pocket, so pick the one that works for you and if you're an atheist or whatever, you might want to rethink that now. When we've reached a comfortable cruising altitude, Captain Olson will turn off the seat belt sign and that's your indication that it's time to get out whatever dish you brought for the potluck. Just to remind you --- rows 1-6, you're supposed to have rolls, 7-15 a salad, 16-21 a main dish, and 22-30 a dessert. In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will drop from the ceiling above you so reach up and pull the mask toward you and if you're sitting next to a child, put the child's mask on first even if this means that you yourself pass out from lack of oxygen, and don't ask why, it's just the way we do it. Those of you who asked about upgrades ----- you've gotta be kidding. There is no First Class on any Lutheran Air flight. Never was, never will be. No way. Okay---- we're almost set to take off, but first here's Bud from the Stewardship Committee.
TR: Okay then. Good to see you all again and I'm not going to take up a whole lot of your time. Right now we're about two-hundred fifty bucks short of where we need to be for the plane to take off and so we're going to pass the offering plates one more time and I hope that one more time is all we need. So give generously. And now we're going to take a vote on whether we need to de-ice the wings or not. Captain Olson says it's up to us, so I'd like to see a show of hands. And remember that de-icing costs money so we're gonna have to take a new collection for that. Okay. All in favor of de-icing----- (ORGAN)
GK: Lutheran Air......it's the faith-based airline. Look for the planes with the sparrow on the tail.