(BRIDGE)
GK: We've come to North Carolina from Minnesota and it takes some getting used to.
FN (WOMAN): Come on in, love, have a seat --got some nice iced tea right here, let me sweeten that up for you. And I made you a pie'hope you like peach -- picked them fresh this morning -- no, you eat the whole thing. It's just for you, sweetheart. Just dig in. You want ice cream with that? Are you comfortable sitting on that chair? Let me get you a pillow. How's your mama doing?
GK: It's a state of elaborate hospitality, whereas up north where I come from, we use up a lot of energy just trying to maintain core body temperature, so we don't treat strangers the same way.
(DOOR OPENS, WIND, WOLF HOWL, DOOR SHUTS)
SS (EVELYN): Who are you? (FN SHIVERS) Looks like you went out in a blizzard without warm clothing. Where you from anyway? North Carolina! What you doing up here? Huh? Do I have anything to eat? I suppose I do. Got some hot dogs. Want me to heat em up for you?
GK: Being from the South confers great social advantage. Southerners are just more gracious than most people. They sit out on a porch (BANJO) and picking a banjo and they pass around a fruit jar full of clear liquid that makes people sing---
TR (WILLIE, SINGS):
I've flown away, O Lordy, I've flown away.
I was dry but then I learned to fly
I've flown away.
GK: And they go around in their skimpy clothing and smelling so good of magnolia and all.
SS (SOUTHERN): My goodness it sure is warm this evening. Why I've had to take three baths today to keep me all nice and fresh. You don't mind if I come out here in just my camisole, do you? I mean, you are a gentleman. You wouldn't take advantage of a lady just because she isn't wearing any underthings, would you. My, I do feel a little faint. Fan me with that book you're reading, would you? What is that book anyway? Oh my. William Faulkner. My mama never allowed me to read Mr. Faulkner. No, sir. All sorts of things in there I wasn't supposed to know about. Maybe I shouldn't be sitting so close to you. Huh?
GK: Up north, it was different. We had no interest in sex because we had experience with large animals. (COWS, COWFLOP). If you've ever been present at the birth of a Holstein calf (COW BEARING DOWN, BABY EMERGING FROM UTERUS, CALF MOO ON WOBBLY LEGS), it turns your mind away from those things, and one thing you may not know about northern women -- they don't use handkerchiefs. When they need to blow, they just plug on nostril with a finger and they blow with the other. (FN WOMAN SNOT SNORT) -- and now you know where Norwegian bachelor farmers come from. It's a hard life up there (WIND, WOLF HOWL). Somebody has to live up there to protect our country from the rapacious Canadians, but it's good to be here in North Carolina and learn something about the social graces.
FN (WOMAN): You didn't finish your pie, darling. Let me wrap that in waxed paper, you can have the rest of it later. You want something else? I got biscuits and gravy. How about an iced tea? (ICE IN GLASS) Don't you get up. You just sit there and you tell me all about you.
GK: And that's why we've come down here to North Carolina. The buckle of the hospitality belt.