GK: There is one more blizzard due in Minnesota. Our State High School Basketball tournament blizzard, so let's look at this safety film right now.
(FILM RATCHETS UP, MUSIC COMES UP TO PITCH)
FN (ANNC): Spring comes to the frozen tundra. The trees start to leaf out, crocuses pop up, it feels like spring. (SS: Fa la la la la la la.) And suddenly (KLAXON) Winter Storm Watch -- blowing snow, sleet -- your flowers will die. Do not attempt to save the flowers. They are goners. (OMINOUS CHORDS) Avoid panic. Go to the store and stock up on butter, flour, sugar and beef jerky. Warn your elderly neighbors (SS OLD: What? It's who??) and go to the basement... Go to a place of shelter ...(HIS VOICE GOES DEEP AND SLOW AS PROJECTOR BREAKS DOWN)
TK (TEEN, OFF): Sorry!
GK: Thank you for your patience. We'll be back up and running in just a moment. To continue with our important message about winter--
TK (TEEN): Got it!
GK: Ready to go?
TK (TEEN): Ready!
(FILM RATCHETS BACK UP)
SS (UNDER): So what do you mean when you say you love me--
FN (UNDER): I'm saying that I love you, Karen.
SS (UNDER): Or are you saying that you think you ought to love me?
FN (UNDER): Why would I say that?
SS (UNDER): I'm asking you.
FN (UNDER): And I'm just asking why you're asking.
SS (UNDER): I want to know what you're saying-
FN (UNDER): What do you think I'm saying Karen?
SS (UNDER): Oh no. I'm not going to fall for that.
FN (UNDER): Fall for what?
SS (UNDER): For what you just said. The thing.
GK: What is this, Lance?
TK (TEEN): Sorry, wrong film!
GK: We want the one on spring blizzards--
TK (TEEN): Sorry, just grabbed the wrong one. They all look the same.
GK: This is why we hired you, Lance-
TK (TEEN): Got it. Okay-- (FILM RATCHETS UP)
FN (ANNC): ... Spring blizzards move in fast, like a cougar leaping from a limb. (DEATH CHORD). Go to the basement. (TK D.I.: TO THE BASEMENT. MARCH. HUP HUP HUP) Take blankets, flashlights, water, a Bible. Just the New Testament. Old Testament might scare you. And don't read the book of revelations. Call up your elderly neighbors. (SS: You say it's what? It's warming?) Bring the dogs into the house. (DOGS) Take a radio with you to the basement. A rifle, if you have one. And a cellphone of course.
(HIS VOICE GOES DEEP AND SLOW AS PROJECTOR BREAKS DOWN)
GK: Lance--
TK (TEEN): I'm sorry, I'm really sorry--
GK: We can watch it another time--
TK (TEEN): Okay I got it. Just wait--
GK: You sure it's--
TK (TEEN): Yeah I got it I got it, here we go-all set--
(MOVIE RATCHETS UP)
SS (UNDER): I looked in your e-mail today.
FN (UNDER): Oh?
SS (UNDER): I saw what you wrote to your sister.
FN (UNDER): Why did you go in there?
SS (UNDER): You said I was moody. You told her I was a pill.
FN (UNDER): I didn't mean it--
SS (UNDER): A pill. That's what you said.
FN (UNDER): I still love you, Karen.
SS (UNDER): You love a pill?
FN (UNDER): Let's not talk about it.
SS (UNDER): You're angry, aren't you--
FN (UNDER): I'm not.
SS (UNDER): You are. I can tell you are.
FN (UNDER): I'm not angry.
GK: Lance--
TK (TEEN): Sorry--
GK: What is this movie--
TK (TEEN): I don't know. I think I got it now.
GK: Looks like a documentary.
TK (TEEN): Ready--(FILM POWERS UP)
FN (ANNC): One day it's 68 and then... Sudden falling temperatures combined with high winds can instantly paralyze persons who go out without a scarf or ski mask (
SS: LA LA LA LA LA LA) -- six square inches of exposed skin can result in death from exposure in seconds -- (BLIZZARD, CHOPPER)
SS DEEP: I see bodies in the snow outside Starbucks, lieutenant.
TK: Gonna have to leave em. Sergeant.
SS DEEP: Shouldn't we check at least? The heat from their lattes might've kept em alive.
TK: Look at em. No scarves, no hats. They're dead.
SS DEEP: Too bad. Careless.
TK: Must not be from Minnesota. (CHOPPER)
SS DEEP: Guess not, sir.
FN: How can you protect yourself? What can you do? Let's look at three simple options. First, reach into your...(HIS VOICE GOES DEEP AND SLOW AS PROJECTOR BREAKS DOWN)
GK: You know, this was a bad place for this to happen, Lance-
TK (TEEN): Don't worry. Hang on--
GK: There just seems to be a problem with this--
TK (TEEN): Not a problem. I got it under control. Here we go-- all set!
(FILM RATCHETS UP)
SS: Oh Bob.
FN: Oh Karen.
SS: Oh yes.
FN: That's so good.
GK: Turn it off please!
TK (TEEN): Sorry!
(FILM RATCHETS DOWN)
GK: Is that even the same movie?
TK (TEEN): I guess it is, I don't know. I got the other one right here--
GK: It's okay, I think we get the point. Spring Blizzards. It can happen here.
TK (TEEN): Sorry!