GK: Last week's show was a little weird and I don't know why we did what we did but we did, there was a reading of passages from Marcel Proust (TR FRENCH, SOFT, SIBILANT, LONG COMPLEX SENTENCES) and I had no idea it was going to be so long and then it was followed by a recital on the Japanese koto (KOTO) and he just didn't know how to stop and then there was an author talking about her book on eggrolls.
SS (FLEXNER): One must interrogate the hegemonic dissonance between transformative gender metonymy and postcolonial paternalistic signification as shown in the phallic shape of the eggroll. And that is why we use chopsticks.
GK: Sometimes in public radio, we lose sight of the basics and we get fascinated by peripherals. And that's why we brought our show to Louisville today because this is the city of the baseball bat (SWING, HIT, CROWD ROAR), this is the city of horse-racing (GALLOPING HORSE PASSING) and this is a part of the country famous for bourbon --
TR (JOHN WAYNE): Pour me a couple fingers of that and if you put ice in it, I'm gonna have to shoot you.
GK: And it's famous for basketball (SHOES ON WAXED FLOOR) and amazing players who go straight up in the air and hit swishers from 30 feet-- (SWISH, CROWD ROAR). And so we came to Louisville to associate ourselves with the basics...
FN: That's Loovul.
GK: What?
FN: It ain't Louie-ville. It's Loovul. Say it right.
GK: Okay. Thanks. -- The reason we brought our show to Louisville is because we need to change public perception-
FN: It's not Lu-a-ville. It's Loovul.
GK: That's what I said.
FN: You said, Lua-ville. It's Loovul.
GK: The reason we brought our show to Loovul is because of what happened last week with the Proust (FRENCH MURMURS) and the koto (SFX) and the author who went on and on about her book--
SS (FLEXNER): The postcolonialist postgender imagization of the eggroll notes the irony of a phallic object with an egg in it.
GK: And Louisville is not that kind of town. It's a town of baseball bats (SWING, HIT, ROAR OF CROWD) and thoroughbred horses (GALLOPING HORSE PASSING) and bourbon whiskey--
FN: Care for a Campari?
TR (JOHN WAYNE): Where I come from, mister, you offer a man Campari, you're asking for a fight.
FN: Got some Bailey's Irish Cream here.
TR (JOHN WAYNE): Where I come from, mister, that's for older women in baggy clothes.
FN: Okay. How about gin?
TR (JOHN WAYNE): A man who'll drink gin is either a cheater or a saxophonist.
FN: Got vodka.
TR (JOHN WAYNE): A man who drinks vodka is trying to hide something.
FN: How about Scotch?
TR (JOHN WAYNE): Where I come from, mister, Scotch is considered a nice attempt at something but it's not whiskey.
FN: Got some Kentucky bourbon here.
TR (JOHN WAYNE): Mister, you just made my day big time.
FN: Care for ice in that?
(SPIN CYLINDER, CLICK OF REVOLVER HAMMER)
TR (JOHN WAYNE): Did I hear somebody mention ice?
GK: That's where we are. Kentucky. Because that's the kind of show we are. Last week's show was a mistake. We've moved on. (SEMI PASSING FAST) And we're here in Kentucky--
(BLUE MOON OF KENTUCKY)