Garrison Keillor: Just north of Charlotte is the Carolina Raptor Center, a hospital for injured eagles (SFX) and owls (SFX), and hawks (SFX)--not to be confused with the Rapture Center which is nearby, where people gather on a high hill so they can be taken first (Fred Newman: I'M A READY!!! I'M HERE!!!) -- and also nearby is the Carolina Poultry Rescue Center (CHICKENS) where chickens who are considered at-risk come for therapy. Chickens are frustrated because they can't fly (FRUSTRATED CHICKEN), nor can they run very fast (CHICKEN RUNNING, PANTING), and when they try to run fast they run into things (CHICKEN RUNNING, SMACK, FALL, CHICKEN DIZZINESS) and they have tiny brains but they know about chicken nuggets (CHICKEN DREAD). And they know about chicken jokes (SAD CHICKEN). But now the Carolina Poultry Rescue Center uses cognitive restructuring to give chickens the confidence they need to be who they are (ROOSTER CROW). That's the Carolina Poultry Rescue Center. It's north of town near the Raptor Center (HAWK CRY) and the Rapture Center (FN: I'M A READY!).
(THEME OUT)