Garrison Keillor:
Minnesota my Minnesota
the place where I was born.
Rolling meadows, fields of soybeans,
And tomatoes and sweet corn.
AUD: chorus
Sue Scott: Hi. Can you tell me how I can get to the--(GASP) Oh my gosh.
GK: Get to the what? (CHICKEN)
SS: What a beautiful chicken. Is that yours?
GK: Yep.
SS: Wow. What's his name?
GK: Trevor.
SS: He's beautiful.
GK: Thank you.
SS: I never saw a chicken up close before. How do you get him to look like that? He's so clean-(CHICKEN)
GK: He's a well-bred chicken.
SS: So where are you from?
GK: Me? Willmar.
SS: Where's that?
GK: Sort of west of here.
SS: Oh! I'm from Minneapolis.
GK: Really. I've always been curious about Minneapolis. They say there's a covered stadium there.
SS: You've never been to Minneapolis?
GK: No.
SS: You've never been to a big city?
GK: I've been to St. Cloud.
SS: Where's that?
GK: North of here.
SS: Oh, right.
GK: So you like Minneapolis?
SS: I guess, I mean I like New York--lot of places. But Minneapolis is good for now. So do you want to go out for pronto pups after this?
GK: Sure, ok.
SS: And then we can go on Ye Olde Mill.
GK: Isn't that the Tunnel of Love ride?
SS: Is it? Oh-- (CHICKEN)
GK: Let's go.
SS: Really?
GK: Let's do it. I haven't been out of this barn for four days. (ANGRY CLUCKING) Right after the judging.
SS: Of course.
GK: You'll wait for me?
SS: Of course!
SS (SINGS):
I wish he'd tell me
That he loves me
And that he'd hold me in his arms
And that he'd move to
Minneapolis.
I don't care to live on a farm.
(WATER FLOWING, CHICKEN CLUCKING, ECHO)
SS: Gosh. It's dark in here. I can't see a thing.
GK: I'm right here.
SS: (CLUCKING) Is your chicken ok?
GK: I've got him. He's just a little confused.
SS: I suppose he's excited about winning the purple ribbon.
(CHICKEN PRIDE)
GK: He's a Lutheran chicken so he doesn't get too puffed up over it.
SS: Right--do you like the tunnel of love... ?
GK: Sure. Why do they call it that?
SS: Well. It's dark in here--Oh! Is that your hand?
GK: Yeah. What's that?
SS: It's my collarbone.
GK: Oh. It's beautiful. Do you mind if I just--run my index finger along it ?
SS: No, that's (SIGHS) -that's nice (CHICKEN WARNING) Is he ok?
GK: He's fine. He's great. If there were a collarbone contest, you'd be the winner, I'll tell you that. Hands down.
SS: You know I don't even know your name.
GK: It's Craig.
SS: I'm Ashley.
GK: I feel like I've known you for a long time.
SS: Oh my gosh, I was just about to say that.
GK: I want to kiss you.
SS: I was just about to say that, too.
GK: If I can find your face--
SS: I'm right here-- (KISSING, SLOW CLUCKING)Wow. That was amazing.
GK: Yes it was.
SS: I want you to see Minneapolis. I want to show you things-I want to make you soy non-fat lattes in the morning and do yoga together on mats made of natural fibers-
GK: And I want you to see Willmar.
SS: Do they have yoga in Willmar?
GK: I don't know.
SS: Do you like raw fish?
GK: Sure.
SS:
Garden salads and sashimi,
With a glass of cold white wine.
I could teach him to dance salsa,
And dress him in Calvin Klein.
GK: This has been amazing, meeting you.
SS: Do you have to go?
GK: I have to ask you one thing, Ashley.
SS: What?--
GK: You're Lutheran, aren't you? I mean, I guess I just sort of assumed. I mean, it's okay if you're not. None of my business. I just wanted to -- you know--
SS: No. I'm not.
GK: Oh.
SS: Is that a problem?
GK: No. -- You're Christian, aren't you?
SS: In a general sense. Yes. I mean, I think there's a great deal there. I think that the -- well-- the-- I think the Golden Rule, for example-- you know-- I try to -- you know-- do that. Do unto others. What's wrong?
GK: You're a Democrat, aren't you.
SS: I am.
GK: I never sat this close to a Democrat before.
SS: Now you have. (CLUCKING)
GK: Gotta go.
SS: Kiss me again.
GK: Now?
SS: Don't think about it. Just kiss me.
GK: People are looking.
SS: So?
GK: There might be somebody I know.
SS: So what?
GK: You want me to kiss you?
SS: Kiss me.
GK (SINGS):
I knew that I shouldn't do it
But I kissed her then and there
And that is what I'll remember
About the Minnesota State Fair.
AUD:
You are my sunshine,
My only sunshine.
You make me happy
When skies are grey.
You'll never know, dear,
How much I love you.
Please don't take my sunshine away.