Sue Scott: These are the good years for Jim and me. We forgot that we had signed up for the neighborhood association's progressive Christmas dinner until six couples appeared at our door, looking very cheery from the appetizer course they'd had next door. Luckily I was upstairs and saw them from the bedroom window and they didn't see me, so -- I just waited and eventually they wandered off to their dessert course and everything was fine. Jim went to the Post Office to buy stamps and there was a long line, so we decided not to send Christmas cards. We're sending e-cards instead. Pictures of us with reindeer antlers and we're dancing to "Jingle Bell Rock" with George and Laura and snow is falling and then you pull away and see the whole earth turning and angels sing "Peace on earth" -- it's cute. Jim made it at work. It took him two days.
We should have been happy. But then one night I was looking at my Christmas card list, and I came downstairs and there were carolers outside our door (MUFFLED CAROLERS), and there was Jim, sitting on the couch watching a boxing match on TV (BOXING). Jim?
Tim Russell: Hmmm?
SS: We have carolers outside, Jim. Didn't you hear them?
TR: I heard them, and I'm waiting for them to go away.
SS: That's not nice. You're supposed to open the door and smile at them while they sing. Come on--
TR: I'm fine here, Barb.
SS: Oh, Jim, now just get up, will you?
TR: It's cold out there, Barb. I can hear them just fine from here.
(MUFFLED CAROLING)
SS: (WAVING TO CAROLLERS) Hi-- (TO JIM) They can see us through the window. They know we're here.
TR: I don't know these people. I don't know what they want.
SS: What they want is to share the love in their hearts, Jim. Heavens--
TR: Oh yeah? I feel manipulated.
SS: Oh, Jim--
TR: They're going to pull out a hat and collect money for the homeless or something.
SS: And so what if they do?
TR: Ask us to donate something for the food shelf. And they won't be satisfied with a few cans of water chestnuts.
(CAROLING STOPS)
SS: Look-they're going away.
TR: Guess we dodged a bullet. And now we can go back to our lives.
SS: Jim, I wonder if you've been getting enough ketchup.
TR: Ketchup, Barb?
SS: Ketchup, Jim, contains natural mellowing agents that relax you to the point where you can open your heart and-- let's have some ketchup and sing some carols.
TR: Let's not go crazy, Barb. Let's just have some ketchup and see what happens.
Rich Dworsky (SINGS):
These are the good times
Of candles on our street
Carolers singing
Music soft and sweet.
Life is flowing
Like ketchup on white meat.
Garrison Keillor: Ketchup, for the good times
RD: Ketchup, ketchup.