Garrison Keillor: There are a lot of navigation systems on the market these days
Sue Scott: Turn left in 3 blocks.
GK: They can all get you where you want to go. But only one system has the technology to travel anywhere on the globe with confidence.
Tim Russell (BUSH): Stay the course. Your destination is straight ahead.
GK: The George W. Bush Global Positioning System will show you the way when you are out on the road by yourself.
TR (BUSH): Turn right. Then turn even more right.
GK: The GWB GPS uses technology developed by our defense department and the clandestine service to assure that there is no question about which way is right.
TR (BUSH): You are on Oak street. You need to adjust your tactics in one block, but not your goal. Your goal is still Bed, Bath and Beyond.
GK: This system is so advanced it can detect deviations in your itinerary and make immediate corrections so you never veer off course.
TR (BUSH): You missed the entrance ramp. You need to refine your path. This is not a change in strategy, just a different path to the same place.
GK: It makes the perfect gift for the special someone who loves to drive but never seems to plan properly. Whether you're driving around the block or around the world. the GWB GPS system will lead you in the right direction.
TR (BUSH): Stay on this course for... 4 ...more... years.
GK: Get one today.
TR (BUSH): Mission accomplished.