The first thing I remember knowing,
Was when it started snowing
I decided I would never work outdoors;
So I came down to the U
To see what I could do
And studied English literature of course.
I was a rebel child,
Reading Yeats and Oscar Wilde
And Chaucer-- how I loved the Miller's Tale
Stead of Romans and Galatians,
I preferred exaggerations
And Mama sat and prayed that I would fail.
And I turned twenty-one on campus life reading Ernest Hemingway.
No-one could steer me right but Mama tried, Mama tried.
Mama told me Be a dentist, but her pleading, I denied.
That leaves only me to blame 'cos Mama tried.
I left with an addiction
To poetry and fiction
About reality I was confused
To save my soul from Satan
Mama sent me down to Dayton's
And they offered me a job but I refused.
And I turned twenty-one on campus writing prose and poetry
A terrible career but Mama tried, Mama tried,
To make me an English teacher, but her pleading, I denied.
That leaves only me to blame 'cos Mama tried.
My career did not go far
Til I wrote a big memoir
Which now a couple million folks have read.
I'm afraid I stretched the truth
About my wayward youth --
And I regret one awful thing I said.
That I turned twenty-one in prison doing life without parole
Cause Mama raised me wrong -- O I lied, yes I lied,
I lied about the prison and about the homicide
That leaves only me to blame cause Mama tried.