To the tables down at Mary's, to the place where Judy dwells,
To the dear old coffee bar we love so well,
We're the English majors sitting with our lattes and croissants
Writing memoirs which we do extremely well.
Yes, the beauty of our memoirs and our fragile poetry
Full of angst and grief and anger and despair.
We will write about our suffering, we will journal every day
Then we'll go and have our nails done and our hair.
We're young English majors who write memoirs
La di da
We write about men and what jerks they are
La di da
Gin, a Galoise, a negligee
We've got plenty of stuff to say
Oh for a contract with Doubleday
La di da.