(BOUNCY ORGAN THEME)
GK: And now it's time for Cooking With Kerry, a visit to the kitchen of presidential candidate John F. Kerry and today we'll be learning how to make cassoulet. And now, let's join the Senator who is standing at the chopping block on the cooking island here in the center of the kitchen. Senator--
TR (KERRY): Thank you. Just let me point out that this is not a chopping block but a butcherblock, the difference being that a chopping block is any sort of slab that you'd chop things on, whereas a butcherblock is a wooden slab and, more specifically, one made by bonding together thick laminated strips of ash, walnut, and red oak, which, as you may know, is the state tree of Iowa where I was just the other day and where people in Council Bluffs were telling me about how their co-pay on health insurance has gone up 14% in the past five months--
GK: Good. Okay. Now--
TR (KERRY): I have a plan for this cassoulet. No. 1, chopped pork. No. 2, beans. No. 3, duck confit. Speaking of which, (SHOTGUN LOAD AND FIRES TWICE) there...got him.
GK: Good shot, sir.
TR (KERRY): I am a gun owner and a hunter as well as a bicyclist and wind-surfer and sailor, and I've often hunted in Wisconsin, Minnesota, Ohio--wonderful states where I've felt completely at home and comfortable among people of all social levels and occupational backgrounds.
GK: Okay, that's good. So you use fresh duck for the cassoulet?
TR (KERRY): Yes, of course. Some people roast the duck on a rack, but I don't. Speaking of Iraq, this President has mislead time and time again.
GK: Right. Now, the cassoulet?
TR (KERRY): As you know, cassoulet is of French derivation, just like the wonderful cities of Fond du Lac and Eau Claire in the great state of Wisconsin.
GK: Okay. And over here we have the beans.
TR (KERRY): These are navy beans and as I look at them I can't help but be reminded of when I was a young man at Yale and my country called and I said, "Send me." I did not duck the call to service as so many others did.
GK: Right. It looks like you've soaked the navy beans, Senator.
TR (KERRY): I have. I used to soak the beans overnight but a woman in Ohio showed me how to simply boil them for a couple minutes and then let them sit for an hour. Not that I sat for an hour. I did not. I worked on my plan to make higher education affordable for all of our young people--young people in Florida and Colorado and--
GK: Now-- the beans--
TR (KERRY): First, we brown the meat in duck drippings, and we toss in the pork and/or the lamb (SIZZLING) and we brown them, or saute them, and this must be done quickly, decisively -- saute is from the French verb "sauter" which means "to leap" or "to have leaped" as in (FRENCH GIBBERISH incl. SAUTER), which does not mean to leap blindly.
GK: Okay. Thanks for clearing that up.
TR (KERRY): That is one of my differences with the President--he has burned the meat and then tried to hide his mistake by pouring barbecue sauce on it. In my estimation, the W stands for Willy-Nilly.
GK: I see you have a bottle of ketchup here.
TR (KERRY): That's for later. Now we have sauteed the meat and we combine it with the beans in the baking dish, in layers, distributing things evenly, not like a Republican cassoulet where all the meat is on the top and all the beans at the bottom and--did I mention the onions? The onions are from...
GK: Okay. That's all the time we have for Cooking with Kerry. Thank you, so much--
TR (KERRY): I didn't get to talk about New Hampshire and Tennessee and North Carolina...
GK: Next time...(THEME UP AND OUT)