GK: ...back after this message from Soft Hands Insurance.
SS: I had a lot of friends in college. And I cherished them all. But then, one by one, my friends started to announce their wedding plans. (OMINOUS CHURCH BELLS) And those friendships became a liability. Literally. Big church weddings with six or eight or fourteen bridesmaids, including me, and for each one I had to spend $400 (CASH REGISTER Ka-CHING) on a dress I'd never wear again, plus shoes, flowers, airfare (AIRPLANE TAKES OFF) a gift for the bridal shower plus a wedding gift, a bachelorette party with a male stripper dressed as a pirate, (TR: Ahoy thar, matey!). I maxed out four different credit cards, and now instead of going to medical school as I'd planned, I'm trying to pay off $45,000 in debt by making crystal methamphetamine in my apartment. Speed, crank, zip--I'm turning it out day and night and selling it in jelly jars, just to pay off bridesmaid debt.
TR: Too bad she didn't know about Bridesmaid Insurance. It comes with a taffeta-dress deductible, after which it pays 100% of all costs for family weddings, 80% of high school or college friends' weddings, and up to 65% for people you didn't realize were such good friends until it was too late.
SS: I was going to be a pediatrician but now I'm a drug-dealer on the road to the penitentiary. Why? Because I'm well-liked! (WEEPS)
TR: The costs of being a bridesmaid are astronomical, and they're only getting worse. Without proper planning, being in even a handful of weddings could leave you financially destitute and forced to sell illegal drugs. Get Bridesmaid Insurance today. From Soft Hands Insurance.
MUSIC OUT