(GUITAR)
A summer afternoon. The sun's behind the trees. You climb into your hammock. (CREAKING) The one made of white twine that looks like a cat's cradle that your wife gave you for Father's Day. And you fall asleep. (HEAVY BREATHING) As your neighbor turns on his lawn sprinkler. (SFX) The ice-cold spray comes to within three-quarters of an inch from you. And then the wind comes up. (CRY OF PAIN) (TR VOICE OFF: Sorry.) A languid summer day. You think of the beach at Barbados. (SURF) You're twenty-two and that gorgeous woman wearing the flower-blossom shirt comes toward you (SS: Hi, my name is Kamehameha Leilani Monongahela), but actually it's your neighbor's weed-whacker. (SFX) He's trimming along his fence. Ten feet from your head. And now his dog comes bounding up to you. (BARKING) ----- (TR OFF: Sorry----- C'mere, boy! Come on!) The dog has been in the sprinkler. He's dripping wet. (DOG SHAKING. CRY OF PAIN) (TR: Sorry!) A beautiful summer day. A single snowy cloud passes overhead and birds sing in the apple tree. (MOSQUITO WHINE. SLAP. WHINE. SLAP.) It's so much like that summer in Vermont. Remember? That weaver named Jean. (SS: I'd love to weave a serape for you. Or a pair of underwear. Whichever you'd like. Or both.) She was so sinuous, so dreamy. (CAT MEOW) (FN: Don't jump up here. Don't jump. Kitty--- don't jump. CAT MEOW, JUMP. CRY OF PAIN) (TR OFF: Sorry). You go in the house and wash the gash on your leg and put mercurochrome on it and get yourself a cold nectar and come back to the hammock and you look up at the sky and smell the grass and you're transported to Seattle that time you went there with what's her name---- (SS: Starflower Moonbright.) Right. She had been Karen but then she changed her name. (SS: Starflower Moonbright.) She was performing in that singing group called Coastal Range. More of a chanting group. (SS & FN CHANTING: Ommmmmmmm) But when she wasn't performing, she was a lot of fun. (SS: Let's go swimming. FN: Now? SS: Why not? FN: We don't have our swimsuits. SS: So?) (LAWNMOWER START ATTEMPT. SECOND ATTEMPT. THEN LAWNMOWER STARTS) It's your neighbor. He mows the grass ten feet from you for a few minutes until your nerve endings are raw and then (LAWNMOWER CUTS OUT) TR: Oh hi. Sorry. Forgot you were sleeping. Didn't mean to wake you up. (CELLPHONE RING) Excuse me. (TR LOUD VOICE: Hey! Hi------- No, I'm just standing out in the backyard. --------No problem.--------- Yeah. ------ Well, it's like this------ I was thinking we gotta lock up that whole Simmons deal and take care of them and then we can move to the Hartford case. Don't you think? Do Simmons first? Get that all salted away. Then start in on the Hartford. Huh? ----- Right. Do the Simmons deal first. Or the Hartford. Or maybe do em both at the same time.----- (GUNSHOT, BWANG)
And a gunshot rings out. And the cellphone shatters in his hand. (TR: Hey) Who did that? (FN: Was that me?) There's a smoking gun in your hand. Where did it come from? Is it a dream? (SS KID: Daddy? FN: What? SS: Will you blow up this pool? FN: Sure. GUNSHOTS) It's a summer day and you, a onetime liberal, are now campaigning in behalf of the National Rifle Association (FN ON PA WITH REVERB: The Constitution says, simple as can be, the right to bear arms shall not be abridge-----) and the loudspeaker starts to feed back (FEEDBACK) and you take care of it. (GUNSHOTS)
SS: Honey?
FN: What?
SS: You're talking in your sleep.
FN: Oh. How long have I been asleep?
SS: About fifteen minutes. Supper's ready. You animal. You beautiful animal.
FN: Okay.
She walks to the house and as she does, she removes her shirt (SAXOPHONE) and her jeans and does a little dance and ----- no, she doesn't----- she walks up the steps and opens the screen door (SFX) and it shuts (SFX). The End. (MUSIC OUT)