(LIGHT PIANO UNDER)
My church bought a big hot air balloon with "I Am The Way, The Truth, and The Life" written on the side of it ---- which the men's Bible Study group was going to fly over the Cities as a testimony---- but then some people wondered if "I Am The Way" should be on the side of a balloon that is basically drifting with the wind and also the combination of hot air and the gospel made some people uneasy, so I took it up myself the other day from Harriet Island across the river here in St. Paul ----- laid the bag out in the grass (FN GEEZER: Whatcha got there? Some kinda balloon?) I fired up the burners (SFX) and got the bag up in the air (RIGGING CREAKING) and climbed into the basket and fired it up again (BURNER) (FN GEEZER: Looky there!) and up it went ----- (STRATOSPHERE AMBIENCE) heading north over the Mississippi River (BOAT HORN) toward downtown----- First National Bank Building straight ahead (BURNER) ------ flew past City Hall -----windows wide open (COPIER) a secretary at the copier ----- and I give it a blast (BURNER, SECY SCREAM) and up we go and now here comes the dome of the State Capitol ---- up, baby, up, baby, up ---- but there's an updraft of hot air from the capitol dome ---- (WHOOSH) and that takes you up high and then you're okay, you drift north over the city (LAWN MOWER, CARS BELOW, CHURCH BELLS), the neighborhoods of houses and backyards and boulevards and alleys and here's the Interstate (TRAFFIC PASSING, SEMIS) and White Bear Lake and somebody water-skiing (BOAT MOTOR HIGH SPEED, PASSING) and a couple great blue herons coming in (BIRD CRIES) and the big racetrack at North Oaks (SPEEDWAY, PASSING) ----- and the carnival next to it (MERRY-GO-ROUND, HIGH STRIKER, TILT-A-WHIRL) --- and now here we are over Anoka, one of the wealthier suburbs ---- and there's the Greenhaven golf course (SWING, GOLF HIT) ----- look out---- (BALL BOUNCES OFF BALLOON) ------ that was a close one ---- and now we're getting out into the country (TRACTOR) ---- somebody's planting corn ----- and here's the (TURKEYS) big turkey ranch ----- and a turkey dog keeping the herd together (DOG) and now here's (CHAINSAW) a couple guys cutting down trees ----- and now it looks as if we're over the shooting range (GUNSHOTS), somebody skeet-shooting (GUNSHOTS)---- hey, you're aiming a little high! (GUNSHOT HITS BALLOON, HISS OF AIR ESCAPING) ----- Thanks a lot! ------ get out the rubber cement (SQUEEZE CEMENT ON HOLE, IT BUBBLES FROM AIR ESCAPING) ---- put on some more----- (SQUOOSH) put a patch on it (SLAP ON PATCH) ----- there, that oughta hold it ----- (BURNER) Now it says, I am the Way, The Ruth, and The Life ----- oh well----- (GEESE GO FLYING PAST, WINGS, HONKS) ------- hey, north is that way! you're going west! Good luck! ------- Enjoy North Dakota----- (OLD PROPELLER AIRPLANE APPROACHES) ----- what is this? Why is flying straight for us? (PLANE TURNS TO AVOID, CLOSELY) It's ----- it's an old German Messerschmidt ----- an old pilot with a leather helmet and a long white scarf ----- he's coming around again ---- (PLANE APPROACHES) I had a feeling something like this might happen. (PLANE PASSES, TR SHOUTED GERMAN IN PASSING) ----- I'm a sitting duck up here ----- no gun, no parachute ------ well, I have this umbrella ------ (OPEN UMBRELLA, ONE SPOKE SPRUNG) ----- busted ----- my luck ------ and now he's coming in at 2 o'clock ----- (PLANE OFF) ------ but what's this (LOON) ------- it's a bird of some sort (LOON) ----- it's a loon. (LOON) Our Minnesota state bird. It's flying straight toward the Messerschmidt and (PLANE TURNS SHARPLY, TR GERMAN SHOUTED IN PASSING) ----- I better make a descent and release some hot air. (BIG RASPBERRY) Let out some more. (BIG JUICY RASPBERRY) People are looking up------ It's only hot air! (LONG HISSING FART-LIKE RASPBERRY, ANOTHER, ANOTHER, OVERLAPPING) There, down below the tree line. Oh oh. Coming down on the river. (SPLASH) Hope this basket floats. Throw the ballast over. (SPLASHES) Good. (RIVER AMBIENCE) Better cut the balloon off. (CUTS) There. Now I've got a rocket boat. (BURNER) Good. (LOON) I'm okay, thanks for your help! (RIVER AMBIENCE) Beautiful day to be on the river. Animals on the shore. Drinking. Caribou (SFX) and elk (SFX) and wapiti (SFX) and elands (SFX) ------ gulls (SFX) ----- or are those terns or cormorants----- (FN GULL CRY: Gulls!) (MUSIC) I grew up on the river. Went away to the coast for awhile. Then came back to the riverbank. The Mississippi. We call it the Middle Coast.
MINNESOTA HOME