GK: This portion of our show is brought to you by Beeboparebop Rhubarb Pie and frozen pie filling.
It's your first day on the job at Duluth's famous Aerial Lift Bridge (SEAGULLS) and you stand on the catwalk beside the Control House and you put a Lazy Ike on your line and you cast (CAST, DISTANT SPLASH) for lake trout and it's a beautiful day and before you know it, you (CREAK OF POLE) have a giant fish on the line---- (TR: Oh boy. SLOW REELING, FIGHTING FISH) and you start to bring him in, he's a biggie, a two-hundred pounder at least, and suddenly (BOAT HORN) here comes an ore boat heading out to the lake and you reach over and throw the switch for the Lift Bridge to lift (KLAXON HORN, TR THROUGH PA: "THE BRIDGE IS ABOUT TO LIFT." BELLS RINGING. BIG ENGINE RUNNING, CHAINS CLANKING) and meanwhile you're trying to land this enormous fighting fish (TR EFFORT, REELING) and the ore boat is heading this way (BOAT HORN) and meanwhile there's a VW van (CAR HORN) and it's gotten caught in the semaphore arm and (FRANTIC HOLLERING, FARAWAY) there are tourists hanging out of the windows as the van hangs from the edge of the bridge (CHILDREN'S FEARFUL CRIES) and they're in a panic as the bridge rises and there you are with a fish on the line (TR: OH BOY) so you lash the fishing pole to the bridge (SWIFT TYING OF KNOT) and you and your dog Shep ----- did I mention the bridge dog, Shep? No? (HEROIC WOOF) ----- you crawl out to the end of the bridge where the VW is hanging (CRIES OF PANIC, CHILDREN) and you rescue them (PROFUSE THANKS) and Shep carries the little kids in his jaws (CHILDREN'S PROFUSE THANKS) and meanwhile----- (TR: OH MY GOSH!) your enormous fish has just been pulled from the water by the lift bridge ------ it is a four-hundred pount lake trout and it is hanging in the air (BIG FISH FLOPPING) directly over the pilot house of the ore boat heading out toward the lake (SHIP'S HORN BLAST, LOUDER) and as you watch in horror ----- (TR: NO!!!!) ------ the captain cuts your line (BOINNGGG!) and sails away with your fish------ (DISTANT LAUGHTER, TR: OHHHHHHH) and the people in the van turn out to be lawyers (SS: That warning gate was defective!) and you go to get your fishing pole and where's Shep---- (WOOF) he's locked himself in the Control House and he's taking the Lift Bridge even higher----- (TR: SHEP, YOU NEVER DID THIS BEFORE! TK SHEP: I never got my hands on the keys before.)
RHUBARB THEME
Wouldn't this be a good time for a piece of rhubarb pie? Yes, nothing gets the taste of humiliation and failure out of your mouth like Bebopareebop Rhubarb Pie.
(SINGS)
One little thing can revive a guy
And that is a piece of rhubarb pie.
Serve it up, nice and hot,
Maybe things aren't as bad as you thought.
(DUET)
Mama's little baby loves rhubarb, rhubarb
Beebopareebop Rhubarb Pie.
Mama's little baby loves rhubarb, rhubarb
Beebopareebop Rhubarb Pie.
Beebopareebop Rhubarb Pie.