GK: --back right after this message from the Professional Organization of English Majors. (BIG RIPE PURPLE CHORD AND UNDER----.) (RESTAURANT AMBIENCE)
TR: I'm crazy about you, Deirdre. I hope you know that.
SS: I only know what you tell me, Al.
TR: Well, I try! But---- you know-----I'm a man of less words.
SS: A man of few words.
TR: That's what I said. I'm not a talker, I'm a doer, and I'm just so anxious to set a date for our wedding-----
SS: You're eager to set a date, Al. Anxious indicates worry and fear----
TR: Well, that too. I mean, let me be honest---- you're so smart, sometimes I'm so scared to open my mouth around you, Deirdre, it makes me nauseous.
SS: Nauseated. You're nauseated. Nauseous is the quality of causing nausea. Which, frankly, sometimes you do, Al.
TR: Would you excuse me? I'm going to go find the restroom---- (FOOTSTEPS AWAY)
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACH)
GK: I've brought your hamburgers and your French fries and vanilla shakes, but I'm anxious that the hamburgers may be under-cooked and might nauseate you.
SS: I asked for my hamburger to be cooked medium-rare, a little pink in the middle.
GK: In my opinion, this is closer to sienna than pink, or perhaps even crimson or puce.
SS: Puce---- you're right. Perhaps it is not cooked sufficiently.
GK: I don't wish to be disingenuous. Or oblivious of your desires.
SS: Did you say "oblivious of my desires"?
GK: Yes.
SS: Most people would have said "oblivious to my desires"----
GK: Most people would have been wrong. Because most people aren't as eager to fulfil your desires as I am.
SS: Oh, be still, my beating heart----
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACH)
TR: Oh great. The food came.
SS: The food didn't "come," Al ---- he brought the food. Him. This beautiful man with the hornrim glasses and the plaintive lips----
TR: Are you inferring something, Deirdre----
SS: I'm implying, Al. It's for you to infer----
TR: Infer what?
SS: Infer that you should get lost, Al. Here. Here's your ring. I don't want it. I have him.
TR: Who do you have?
SS: WHOM do you have?
TR: I asked you first.
SS: Don't you see, Al? I've met the man of my dreams. A man of style!
TR: Style! He's wearing a paper hat that says "Ask me about our Deluxe Whopper."
SS: I'm sorry, Al. It's over.
GK: Would you like me to do your meat a little more?
SS: (SHUDDERS) Oh, you thrill me when you say that.
GK: Language: it says so much sometimes. Nothing speaks louder than words if you know how to use them. A message from the Professional Organization Of English Majors.