----after a word from Deluxe Psychology.
Parenting can lead to loss of brain functions we know this. The kids are driving you nuts, you send them to grandma (TUMULT OF KID VOICES FADING RAPIDLY, DOOR SLAM) and suddenly you're alone for the first time in years. You're free. Free to do whatever you want to do. (FOOTSTEPS STOP) You could read a book, but you get out a DVD. A cartoon. (CARTOON VOICES) Chucky the Chipmunk. You've seen it two hundred times. You find it comforting.
You go back to work after the kids are in school, but you walk into the office one morning----
SS: Okay! Who wants to come to a meeting in my office? Huh? Raise your hands!
You go to a restaurant with your husband---
SS: Let's see who can finish their salad first! Okay? One, two, three----- (BRIDGE)
How can you recover from years of parenting? At Deluxe Psychologists,we recommend a year in France. (FRENCH ACCORDION) Yes, France. A complete change of scene. Good food, good wine (CORK POP). And intelligent sophisticated conversation. (TR FRENCH) ----- The French are the least childish people there are---- they all smoke. (TR INHALE, FRENCH) They stay up late. They eat food your children wouldn't touch. In no time,you'll find yourself being drawn into intense conversations about the nature of reality---- (TK & TR FRENCH) ----- the meaning of existence (TK & TR FRENCH) ----- man's inhumanity to man (TK & TR FRENCH) ---- and children's inhumanity to man and woman (TK & TR FRENCH). After a year, you'll be ready to return to America as adults, subtle, jaded, ironic--..
TR (KID): Hey Mom, can I go over to David's house and watch TV?
SS: Your friend David is a cretin and TV shows are the reason why. Go upstairs and finish reading Proust.
TR (KID): Oh mom!!!!! (POURING)
SS: I've prepared breast of bunny rabbit for dinner.
TR (KID): Not again!!!!!!!!!!
SS: And after dinner my lover is coming over. (LIGHTS CIGARETTE)
TR (KID): The kids in my Sunday school think he's your insurance man.
SS: Whatever.
GK: At Deluxe Psychology we have innovative answers to life's problems. Other psychologists will tell you----
TR (MONOTONE): Maybe what you need is to try carving out a little more space for yourself and stop asking permission to be an individual and start reinforcing your child's coping responses.
GK: At Deluxe Psychologists, we say--..
SS: Go to France. (OCEAN LINER HORN)
You get a better answer at DeLuxe.