GK: This portion of our show is brought to you by Cafe Boeuf of Charlottesville, with your host, Henri.
TR (FRENCH): Char-loh-vee-ya.
GK: Pardon me?
TR (FRENCH): It is pronounced Char-loh-vee-ya.
GK: I thought it was named for an English princess, Charlotte.
TR (FRENCH): Actually, she was French. She passed for English by wearing brown and not using perfume. But she was French. So it's Char-loh-veeya.
GK: But I'm not French. So it's Charlottesville.
TR (FRENCH): C'est la vie.
GK: I thought you said it was Charl-oh-veeya.
TR (FRENCH): (FRENCH SHRUG AND COMPLAINT) So ---- we are holding a table for you for dinner?
GK: I can't. I'm doing the show.
TR (FRENCH): The reservation is for ten p.m.
GK: Dinner at 10? That's late.
TR (FRENCH): You're not in the Midwest now, monsieur. This is Charl-oh-veeya. It's not Lynchburg.
GK: Okay, whatever you say.
TR (FRENCH) Smoking or non-smoking?
GK: Non-smoking.
TR (FRENCH): We do not have a non-smoking section. We are French. French people smoke. Especially in Virginia.
GK: Okay. Smoking then.
TR (FRENCH): Good choice. And do you wish the menu in English or French?
GK: Is there a difference?
TR (FRENCH): Between English and French???? Yes. Certainmentl. (*FRENCH KNOWING LAUGHTER) The French menu has things like (FRENCH). Or the (FRENCH).
GK: These are like brains and the lungs, am I right?
TR (FRENCH): Yes. And bladders.
GK: Bladders?
TR (FRENCH): Goose bladders. A great delicacy.
GK: I had no idea.
TR (FRENCH): Almost as good as goose livers.
GK: Remind me to try it someday.
TR (FRENCH): The goose is forced to drink a bottle of fine Bourdeaux ---- a 1988 (FRENCH NAME) ---- and the goose dies happy and his bladder is lightly sauteed in (FRENCH WORD) ------
GK: This (FRENCH WORD) ---- is this like butter?
TR: What about my wife's suitcase?
GK: No, no, no.......
TR (FRENCH): My wife's suitcase is in your bedroom?
GK: Okay then. Dinner tonight at 10.
TR (FRENCH): I demand satisfaction, monsieur. (TWO SLAPS) You have insulted my honor. And my luggage. Forks or knives, monsieur??
GK: A message from Cafe Boeuf, Charlottesville.
(PLAY-OFF)