(GK: Garrison Keillor; SS: Sue Scott; TR: Tim Russell; FN: Fred Newman)
(BEEPS OF SCANNER, LIKE SONAR)
TR: A little higher.
(BEEPS)
SS: What do you see, Doctor?
TR: Zoom in on the upper right hemisphere.
SS: Is that a tumor?
TR: Not exactly.
SS: What is it? A hematoma? A swelling of the brain?
TR: No, it's Georgia.
SS: By gosh, it is. You going to try to remove it?
TR: I don't think so.
SS: It's a growth of some kind.
TR: It's Georgia.
SS: It's on his mind.
TR: We need to reduce the swelling. This artery is blocked.
SS: I-75.
TR: We'll have to apply ice.
SS: If you apply ice, it won't be Georgia anymore. It'll be Minnesota.
TR: Maybe that's the answer.
SS: But if he has Minnesota on his mind, he won't be able to process new information.
TR: So?
SS: And he'll be missing Fort Benning. The fight or flight response.
Plus the Center for Disease Control.
TR: But he'll also be missing the pain of the Braves folding.
SS: Good point.
TR: And without the Central News Nerve he miss a lot of other pain.
SS: The what?
TR: C.N.N.
SS: Oh.
TR: Ice.
SS: Ice.
TR: The swelling's going down.
SS: I see that.
TR: Population's going down.
SS: Rather sharply.
TR: The kudzu is dying.
SS: Thank goodness.
TR: No more stock car racing.
SS: Number of banjos is declining.
TR: Banjos down?
SS: Sudden decline in banjos.
TR: More ice.
SS: More ice.
(PLAY OFF)
© Garrison Keillor 2003