(GK: Garrison Keillor; SS: Sue Scott; TR: Tim Russell; TK: Tom Keith
(CHOIR HUM, BATTLE HYMN)
TR: Brave men and women of our armed forces. Defending our country. And then --- they return to the homeland to find ---- a spirit of divisiveness in Washington. The President's program for economic recovery frustrated by an embittered minority.
Staff Sgt. Jennifer Lynch:
SS: Our unit in Iraq worked together as a team. Why can't all of us at home --- unite to build a stronger America?
TR (BUSH): This is President George Bush. Ever since 9/11 we've been more aware of our nation's ideals which were our ideals before 9/11 but are even more so since 9/11 and in this time, what some have referred to as the post 9/11 era, we need to rededicate ourselves to those ideals of freedom, including the freedom from unjust taxation. It's just not right that you earn eleven dollars and the government takes nine. That's why it's important for us to be united. We're not nine different countries, we can't have eleven different ways of looking at things. We're one. We're a team. Nine men in baseball. Eleven on a football team. All working together for one purpose. Won't you help? Nine and eleven makes twenty. Send a contribution for $20,000 to George W. Bush for America. Make a difference. Do your part. Lend a hand. If every one of you would call up nine friends, and ask each of them to call up nine friends, in just eleven days we'd have everybody on our side.
SS: Support the troops, support the war. Vote George W. Bush in 2004.
GK: In the past, when times were simpler, we could afford the luxury of disagreement. But we can't anymore. Today, it's important that we all be Republicans. Your friends are. Your true friends. Why not you?
We're all Republicans now,
We've all come around somehow
We are one land
One old party that's grand,
We're all Republicans now.
Affirmative action must go,
Unless you're somebody we know.
We'll get conservative judges back on the bench,
Cut government spending and down with the French
No more arguments, we've taken a vow.
No more dissent, just smile and bow,
We're all Republicans
We're all Republicans
We're all Republicans now
© Garrison Keillor 2003