(GK: Garrison Keillor; SS: Sue Scott; TR: Tim Russell; TK: Tom Keith)
GK: ----.right after this word from the St. Cloud Day Spa and Resort. (PIANO MUSIC)
SS: Sometimes ---- I just need to get away ----- from global unrest ---- and the recession ----- and from the 15,000 college students who live around me here in St. Cloud. And I go to the St. Cloud Day Spa and Resort. It's for people over forty. You drive up to the Spa and ---- there's actually a lot of on-street parking. (WEEPY) Parking spaces. At the curb. It's been so long since I've seen any of those. And you walk in and (DOOR CLOSE, PIANO OUT) there's silence. Absolute peace and quiet. No stereos, no radios, no TVs, nobody yelling into cellphones, no cars with broken mufflers and big speakers in the back seat, no pagers, no MTV or DVD. Nothing. You wrap yourself in a warm, fluffy towel with no humorous sayings on it, just a blank towel, and you put on a bathrobe with no corporate logo and you lie down on a chaise longue in a quiet garden with no empty beer cans in it, and nobody with a faceful of metal walks by talking in non-sentences of monosyllables. And there are books and newspapers and magazines with stories about famous people you've actually heard of. I love college students but ---- sometimes I need a break. No admission without photo I.D. and bifocals. The St. Cloud Day Spa and Resort.
© Garrison Keillor 2003