(GK: Garrison Keillor; SS: Sue Scott; TR: Tim Russell; FN:Fred Newman)

GK: ...after this message. (PIANO, BRAHMS THEME) All of us suffer from occasional outbursts of gas, a natural by-product of the digestive process. Now, thanks to a new pharmaceutical, you need never be embarrassed again. It's called Paxililac. It turns embarrassing gas expulsions into----(GLISS)

SS: I suddenly smell flowers.

TR: Me too.

SS: Where'd that come from?

GK: It came from chemistry. Paxililac. You can't eliminate gas but thanks to a simple pharmaceutical, you can eliminate the embarrassment ---- (GLISS)

FN: Somebody open a window?

SS: Smells like lilacs.

FN: In February?

SS: Bob?

TR: What?

GK: Now you can go to parties and not have to stand near an open door.

SS: Hey, stand over here where we can all get a whiff atcha!

GK: (GLISS)Thanks to Paxililac. Also makers of Rhododentrol and Lily of the Valium.

© Garrison Keillor 2003