(GK: Garrison Keillor; SS: Sue Scott; TR: Tim Russell; FN: Fred Newman)
GK: ----..brought to you by the Good Shepherd Home for Dogs. (MUSIC)
SS: My dog Ralphie and I live on West 86th Street. (WOOF) He has been with me for fourteen years and those have been fourteen of the best years of my life---- And I hope, he feels the same way. I think he does. He really seems to appreciate what I do for him. (WOOF) The play dates, the little fall and winter outfits, and going to the Best Friend Cafe for doggie brunch. I held a Bark Mitzvah for him when he was 2. I always take him on trips. We have day care. A woman named Jana. His other mommy. I can call from work and she picks up and holds it to his ear ---- Hi, baby. (DOG WOOFS) How are we doing this morning, Ralphie Walphie? Hmmm? (DOG BARKING) (MORE BABY TALK) (DOG WOOFING) ---- Oh, we've had our problems. I took him to a therapist for a few years ----- they felt he had adoption anxiety --- so the next time Ralphie got a haircut, I had it made into a wig for me ---- and ever since then, Ralphie's been the best little dog you ever saw. Isn't that right, Ralphie? (WHINE) And now that he's fourteen, I have to think about something I'd rather not think about and that's assisted living. The Good Shepherd Home for Aged Dogs offers the care that my dog needs, in a setting that promotes dignity and independence. Each dog ages differently and the Good Shepherd Home designs a therapy and exercise and nutritional program for each dog ---- with lots of little extras you wouldn't expect from a pet nursing home, such as excursions to Atlantic City, handicrafts, and a group sing on Sunday afternoons. (DOG SING) I'm not ready to put Ralphie there yet. This fall, his hind legs had to be amputated and the surgeon attached a pair of wheels to the hips and so far those are working pretty well. But it's good to know that Good Shepherd is there when we need it. (SHE BREAKS DOWN)
GK: That's the Good Shepherd Home for Dogs, in Queens. Ask your dog's health insurance provider for details.
© Garrison Keillor 2002