(GK: Garrison Keillor; SS: Sue Scott; TR: Tim Russell; TK: Tom Keith)
GK: ----.after this message. (PIANO, new AGE, REPEATED FIGURE)
SS: (SOFTLY) Children are---- our tomorrows. We have them only for a moment ---- and then ---- they venture out into the world in search of their dreams.
TR: (SOFTLY) Have you done everything you could to give your child the best possible chance of success?
SS: Every parent asks herself or himself that question.
TR: Or have you given your child a legacy of failure and frustration by passing on ---poor genetics?
SS: When your family comes for Thanksgiving, take a look around ---- is that what you want for your kids?
TR: If your child is under the age of three, it's not too late for genetic improvement. Bio-engineering can make a huge difference.
SS: If what you gave your child genetically isn't enough, gene modification can help your child become ----
TR: A left-handed pitcher with an effective curveball, a good change-up, and an over-powering fastball.
SS: A child fashion model earning up to five million dollars per year.
TR: The author of a best-selling memoir of family life hailed by critics as "scathingly honest and brutally comic."
SS: All you need is Vector. This little box with two dials and a floppy disc drive.
TR: You program Vector for the genetic make-up you want for your child. Then (LOW ELECTRONIC HUM) you place Vector next to your child's bed during the night.
SS: Low-frequency sound waves find promoter genes in your child's body and alter the genetic receivers and rearrange your child's gene package.
TR: In just a week, you'll have a child who's much less like you and has a much brighter future.
TK (TEEN): I don't want to play hockey this winter, Dad. I want to go to that math institute and take differential calculus.
TR: Ensure your child's future with bio-engineering. They'll be glad you did. (MUSIC BUTTON)
© Garrison Keillor 2002