(GK: Garrison Keillor; SS: Sue Scott; TR: Tim Russell; TK: Tom Keith)
...(MUSIC)....
GK: Coming up later on many of these stations.....Little House on the Prairie.....tonight, Pa and Ma and Mary and Laura and Carrie leave Minnesota for New Mexico.(WHINNY)
TK (LAURA): Why are we going, Pa? I thought you wanted to homestead here on the prairie and till the land---
TR: It's getting colder, Laura. Pretty soon our little house will be buried in snow and there'll be nothing to do but sit around eating beans.
TK (LAURA): But you can play old tunes on your fiddle, Pa.
TR: I can't play the fiddle, Laura.
TK (LAURA): But I heard some sort of music----
TR: I'm afraid those were the beans talking. Anyway, your Ma is pretty sick, so we got to go south.
SS (MA): I got that chronic fatigue syndrome, Laura. Like so many pioneer women. And the doc says I got to get more rest and do yoga.
TR: Ma can't do yoga here in Walnut Grove, Laura, or else we'd be burned for witchcraft.
SS (MA): We're going to Santa Fe.
TK (LAURA): What about all my friends in Walnut Grove?
TR: You'll forget about them in no time, Laura.
TK (LAURA): Can I bring Jack? (WOOFS)
TR: Jack's not the right kind of dog, Laura. We're going to get a wolfhound.
TK (LAURA): Oh. Okay. Bye, Jack. (DOG WHINE)
TR: Caroline? What are you doing?
SS (MA): Taking off my dress and showing you my bathing suit, Charles. What do you think of this?
TK (LAURA): Wow. A calico thong bikini.
SS (MA): What do you think? Like it?
TR: I thought you were sick, Caroline.
SS (MA): Just sick of Walnut Grove, I reckon.
TR: Go to your room, Laura.
TK (LAURA): Yes, Pa.
(MUSIC UP)
GK: .....Little House on the Prairie....coming up later on many of these stations. (MUSIC OFF)
© Garrison Keillor 2002