(GK: Garrison Keillor; SS: Sue Scott; TR: Tim Russell; TK: Tom Keith)
GK:...brought to you by the Catchup Advisory Board....
TR: These are the good years for Barb and me. After thirteen years, we finished putting up the new paneling in the basement, and most of the panels run straight up and down just like in the diagram. Our financial advisor told us that he forgot to invest all that money in AOL Time Warner that we gave him three years ago and it's been sitting in a money market account, earning three and three quarters percent interest. We stayed home and didn't attend the neighborhood block party where they used a hot tub to cook the lobster and it just wasn't a happy time for those people at all. And then our associate pastor, Faith Gunderson, the one who gave all those snippy sermons, was arrested for having a basement full of stolen auto parts. We should have been happy. And then, the other night, Barb said ----
SS: Jim, why don't we have monogrammed towels?
TR: We've got towels with the Hilton monogram.
SS: I want towels with our initials on them. Come out of a steaming hot shower and wrap myself in a towel with the initials B & J on it.
TR: Are you saying the hot water heater's been fixed?
SS: What do you have against monogrammed towels, Jim?
TR: Barb, to me monograms represent the onset of middle age. Like potpourri dishes or eyeglass holders.
SS: Jim---- are you involved with someone with different initials? Is that it?
TR: Barb, our marriage is strong and vital, thanks to ketchup. Ketchup has natural mellowing agents that make a person feel as though the whole world has your name on it.
SS: Oh, Jim--
TR: Let's write our initials on some hamburgers in ketchup-- right now--
RD: These are the good years --- of earth and sea and sun,
A circle growing--..where everything is one
Life is flowing--. like ketchup on a bun.
GK: Ketchup-- for the good times.
RD: Ketchup--..Ketchup.
© Garrison Keillor 2002