(GK: Garrison Keillor; SS: Sue Scott; TR: Tim Russell; TK: Tom Keith)
GK:...this half hour was brought to you by English Majors. (MUSIC UNDER)
SS: I'm forty and if I'm ever going to have a family I've got to find a male in the next three months with viable sperm who's fairly intelligent and won't drive me nuts by saying, "axe" instead "ask" or talk about the nucular family. But where? (ORGAN CHORD)
GK: If you're looking for somebody fairly intelligent, with pretty good verbal skills, why not get an English major?
SS: I never thought of that. (LIGHTBULB CHORD)
GK: The next week----
TR: Hi. How's it going?
SS: Fine. I've got to run, though. Sean and I are going on our honeymoon. Didn't I tell you? He's wonderful!
TR: How long are you gone?
SS: Until Tuesday. He's got to get back to work at Burger King.
MALE TRIO: WE'RE FAIRLY SMART AND SPEAK GOOD ENGLISH.
AND WE HAVE SPERM THAT IS QUITE DISTINGUISHED.
WE ARE TRAINED TO VERBALIZE
AND WOULD YOU LIKE THAT WITH FRIES?
GK: A message from the Professional Organization of English Majors.
(CHORD)