(GK: Garrison Keillor; SS: Sue Scott; TR: Tim Russell; FN: Fred Newmann)
GK: --Backstage dinner for our guests provided courtesy of Kansas Bill's House of Steak. (GUITAR UNDER)
FN: Howdy, this is Kansas Bill. Saturday night is Challenge Night here at our House of Steak --- if you can eat our 64-ounce porterhouse in less than 15 minutes using only a pair of chopsticks, your dinner is absolutely free! On me, Kansas Bill! Including cole slaw, baked potato, and a giant slice of Chocolate Death Cake. (GUITAR BUTTON)
GK: Pat Donohue's fingerpicks and capo and Arnie Kinsella's Chinese gong were provided courtesy of Ernie's Musical Supply, also makers of Ernie's Nasal Chimes. If snoring is a problem in your home (SNORING), why not attach a set of nasal chimes and (SNORING, CHIMING) make it into something more pleasant ---- (SNORT, CHIMES) yours from Ernie's Musical Supply--and thanks for the gong. (GONG) ----Personal counselling for our guests and staff provided by A.A.A. One-Stop Lube & Counselling.
TR: Larry Dobbins here at A.A.A. We change the oil, top off all the fluids, check your tire pressure, vacuum the inside, and hey, as long as you're gonna be here twenty minutes waiting, you may as well check in with our shop psychologist on some of your own problems.
FN: Yeah? What's the matter?
SS: I just feel sort of sluggish lately. I don't know. Kind of slow starting in the morning. I feel like something's dragging. Not operating on all six cylinders.
FN: Just get over it, lady.
GK: You've got twenty minutes while your oil's being changed so why not deal with some of your personal issues. Only at A.A.A. One-Stop Lube & Counselling.
TR & FN (SING): Every 3,000 miles!
GK: Limos for our guests were provided courtesy of the state of Kansas. If you haven't seen Kansas, you haven't seen America.
SS: This is Dorothy Emerson of the state of Kansas. We in Kansas enjoy "The Wizard of Oz" as much as anybody else. What we don't enjoy is people saying, "Well, I guess we're not in Kansas anymore" every time they see something exotic or unusual. The next time you meet someone from Kansas and you're about to make some witty reference to Auntie Em or Toto or ruby slippers, remember this: we've heard it before. Thank you.
GK: Kansas. If you haven't seen it, you haven't seen America. And microphones and wind screens for our show provided by Cool FM JAZZ 112 ----- (FN JAZZ BASS) in Kansas City.
TR: (LOW COOL 'NIGHT VOICE') You are listening to The Night Express.
This is your jazz sherpa--Lester van Horn, here in the wee morning
hours, with the sounds of Charlie Parker
(SAX) as we groovitate up the time line toward the cool school coolest
color of blue ----The Night Express, heading down the radio tracks, with
Mr. Miles Davis aboard (MUTED TRUMPET) all jazz, all night, so hang, baby,
as we press onward, travelers in the American radio night, sharing the
artistry of Philly Jo Jones (DRUMS) as we await the dawn of a new day
and who better to usher it in than the exquisite Mr. Jack Teagarden (MUTED
TROMBONE), here on the Night Express. Cool Jazz 112.
© Garrison Keillor 2002