(GK: Garrison Keillor; SS: Sue Scott: TR: Tim Russell)
GK: Our show is brought to you by the Cafe Boeuf Madison with your host, Antoine the maitre'd. (TR: FRENCH GIBBERISH, GREETING) At the Cafe Boeuf Madison, you can get the finest French cuisine but with melted cheese on it.
TR: Eh. Oui. Fromage de POOF.
GK: Fromage de what?
TR: No, not fromage de What ---- Fromage de POOF. We bring the cheese to your table and soak it with cognac and light a match and POOF.
GK: So you blow up the cheese.
TR: Oui, monsieur.
GK: And is there tuna on the menu?
TR: Oui, monsieur. With fromage de poof.
GK: And how about roasted ground beef with melted cheese between two halves of a --
TR: Two halves of a petit baguette, monsieur. Oui, oui. We call it Le Boeuf de Baguette d'Fromage du poof. Also known as Le Fromage Burger. But here, monsieur ----- try this. Our specialite.
GK: What is it?
TR: It is a work of culinary art. Taste it.
GK: What is in this work of art?
TR: Bon appetit. Enjoy.
GK: Are there animal organs in here, like pigeon cheeks or the gall bladders of rabbits or something?
TR: Monsieur, I am not a pathologist.
GK: What about these small brownish things?
TR: That is the best part.
GK: These are snails, aren't they. Sir, I am an American. We don't eat snails.
TR: These are not exactly escargots. They're (GIBBERISH). (SMACK OF DELICACY)
GK: But--- I would eat it if you put a little melted cheese on it.
TR: Very well, monsieur. Here is the fromage. And (SCRATCH OF MATCH) ---- (POOF). Voila.
GK: The Cafe Boeuf Madison...fine French food with melted cheese on it. Not open on Sundays ---- we'd rather see you watching football. (PLAYOFF)
© Garrison Keillor 2001