You better watch out, you better not cry.
Don't scream and shout or spill on your tie.
Santa Claus is coming to town.
He's making a list, a mile it stretches,
A list of the folks who made membership pledges,
Santa Claus is coming to town.
He knows if you've been greedy
Or if you've done your part,
He knows if you've been bad or good,
So be good or else be smart.
Oh, you better not joke, you better not cry,
You better not poke a stick in your eye.
Santa Claus is coming to town.
INST CHORUS
Don't blame your wife or daddy or mummy
Because your life turned out to be crummy.
Santa Claus is coming to town.
Santa has seen a lot of lost sheep
He's got a subpoena and he's digging down deep
Santa Claus is coming to town.
He's checking on your e-mail
And the websites that you visit,
And that mysterious female,
Santa knows who is it.
Oh you better get a lawyer
And plead the Fifth,
If you're a bad boy or
Girl, no gift.
Santa Claus is coming to town.
INST BREAK
He's reading your mail and tapping your phone
He's on the trail of everybody you've known.
Santa Claus is coming to town.
He knows if you've been lovin',
If you're someone who shares.
He knows if you've been shovin'
Your mother down the stairs.
So you better see
And you better do
Or Santa's gonna be
All over you,
Santa Claus is comin
Santa Claus means business
You can hear him comin
Santa Claus is coming to town.
© Garrison Keillor 2001