(GK: Garrison Keillor; SS: Sue Scott: TR: Tim Russell)
GK: Our show is brought to you by the Cafe Boeuf Grand Forks, your host Antoine Swanson.
(TR FRENCH: Swanson, Swanson)
GK: Swanson.
(TR: Swanson.)
GK: That's what I said: Swanson.
(TR: Non non non non. Swanson.)
GK: Grand Forks was founded by French as a trading post where you could come to buy chocolate...
(TR: Chocolat)
GK: ...and lemons...
(TR: Citron.)
GK: ...and mushrooms...
(TR: Champignons)
GK: ...and the vegetables to make the ratatouille...
(TR: Non, non, non. RataTOUille.) (REPEAT)
GK: ...to buy eggplant...
(TR: Aubergine)
GK: ..endive...
(TR: EnDEEVE! EnDEEVE!)
GK: ...and the cheese...
(TR: Gratin)
GK: ...and the vanilla to make their Napoleons..
(TR: Ahhhhh. Tres bien.)
GK: ...and of course the pepper needed for any French dish.
(TR: Poivre)
GK: Poivre.
(TR: Non non non. Poivre.)
GK: It was the center of French cuisine in America, thus the name, Le Grande Forques.
(TR: Oui.)
GK: The French were here in North Dakota in the 18th century. But there were only ten of them because they didn't get along.
(TR: GIBBERISH ENDING IN "SANK")
GK: Five of them, sorry. There were five Frenchmen here and one day they looked up and saw...
(TR: GIBBERISH ENDING IN "LE BLONDE")
GK: ...hundreds of Norwegians get off the train carrying...
(TR: Pommes de terre)
GK: ...potatoes. The potato people. Not only did they not speak the language, they didn't care for mussels or rabbit or pigeon or sweetbreadsf
(TR FRENCH SORROW)
GK: ...or any of the delicacies of the world, they only cared for boeuf...
(TR: Oui.)
GK: ...and potatoes...
(TR: Pommes de Terre.)
GK: ...and they ate that every day...
(TR: Pommes de Terre, Pommes de Terre, Boeuf, Pommes de Terre, Boeuf, Puree de Pommes de Terre, Boeuf, Pommes de Terre, Pommes de Terre, Pommes de Terre, Pommes de Terre, Pommes de Terre, Puree de Pommes de Terre, Boeuf)
GK: ...and the French saw...
(TR: FRENCH SADNESS)
GK: ...that to be five French Catholics in a city of Lutherans...
(TR: FRENCH IMITATING SWEDISH)---
GK: ...this would be impossible.
(TR: Impossible!)
GK: So the French left and went down the river to New Orleans except for Pierre who went to South Dakota and had the capital named after him, and Antoine's family, the Swanson family...
(TR: Swanson)
GK: ...who stayed to run a restaurant for Lutherans specializing in...
(TR: Boeuf, Puree de Pommes de Terre)
GK: ...but if you ask for it by name, you can have real food.
(TR FRENCH PLEASURE)
GK: The Cafe Boeuf, le Grand Forques. Where the elite meet to eat on Swanson Street.
© Garrison Keillor 2001